[TV Recap] WWE ‘Main Event’ – 2/6/2013

WWE Main Event Recap

On this week’s episode of Main Event, Sheamus takes on Cody Rhodes in the “main event”. Can Rhodes and his mustache overcome the pale-skinned fury of “The Celtic Warrior”?

Click “read more” for a full recap of the show, either as it airs or to catch up after the fact.

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Quick Match Results:

  1. Sheamus pinned Cody Rhodes (14:01).
  2. Damien Sandow pinned Daniel Bryan (2:33).
  3. The Funkadactyls (Cameron & Naomi) defeated Aksana & Tamina Snuka (4:36).

*****

After the Main Event intro video, we are greeted with a mini-pyro show as we scan the Jacksonville, FL show. Michael Cole is at the announce table alongside JBL. Cole provides an update on Vince McMahon‘s condition, saying there’s no time table for his return. “Smoke and Mirrors” starts playing and out comes Cody Rhodes, mic in hand. Rhodes says they should shut all of this down now as the show is becoming a farce. Rhodes says his match isn’t starting until he addresses the injustice of not being included in the Elimination Chamber match at Elimination Chamber. Rhodes throws a chair in the ring and holds the show hostage, saying he isn’t going anywhere until Booker T gives him a spot in the Elimination Chamber. Cole, on the live mic, tells Rhodes that Booker is not here for the show since it isn’t Smackdown. Rhodes says to get him anyway, by any means necessary, and won’t be leaving the ring until he gets what he wants.

Rhodes’ opponent, Sheamus, makes his way out to interrupt the sit-in. Sheamus also has a mic on him. Sheamus says as entertaining as this is, enough is enough. Sheamus tells Rhodes to put the chair away and take a Brogue Kick like a man in order to give the Jacksonville crowd what they want to see. Rhodes tells Sheamus this has nothing to do with him. Rhodes does a horrible (on purpose) Sheamus impression, and Sheamus tells him that it sucked. Sheamus says they have a match right now and he doesn’t intend to leave empty-handed. Rhodes says he wants nothing to do with Sheamus and goes to leave but Sheamus stops him. Sheamus asks Rhodes what he thinks Booker T would do if he came out right now and got in the ring. Rhodes doesn’t answer, so Sheamus does a Booker impression yelling “TELL ME YOU DIDN’T JUST SAY THAT, SUCKAH!” (it was also terrible). Rhodes says he’ll go higher than Booker to get what he wants. Sheamus then imitates Vickie Guerrero‘s screechy “EXCUUUUSE ME!” warble and says “old sandbags” has enough on her plate and no time to deal with Rhodes. Sheamus then imitates what Vince McMahon would say to Rhodes: “YEEEEER FIIIIIRED!” Rhodes goes for a cheap shot, but Sheamus knocks him down and sends him out of the ring. I’m assuming this match finally starts next.

  • THOUGHTS: What…what the hell? I have no idea what I just watched. Rhodes hijacking the show made no sense, although his anger over being left out of the Elimination Chamber running is totally justified (they’ve all had their chance, time for some new blood), and Sheamus’ random impressions…happened. Wow.

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-Commercial Break-

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“Main Event”: Sheamus Vs. Cody Rhodes

Sheamus and Rhodes get into a shoving match, which Sheamus wins easily. Sheamus with a side headlock and a shoulderblock after Rhodes attempts an Irish whip. Rhodes composes himself in the corner and locks on a side headlock of his own on Sheamus. Sheamus tries to whip him off but Rhodes hangs on. Sheamus tries to escape with a suplex, but Rhodes rolls through and brings Sheamus to the mat with the side headlock. Sheamus whips Rhodes into the ropes once they get back to their feet and repeatedly knocks him down with shoulderblocks. Rhodes bails to the outside to catch his breath.

Rhodes rolls back in and stomps Sheamus down in the corner. Sheamus fights back with massive forearms and connects with a backbreaker for 2. Sheamus applies a hammerlock and sends Rhodes shoulder-first into the corner. Sheamus slams the arm and covers Rhodes for 2 before applying an armbar to further weaken the once-injured shoulder. Rhodes gets up and backs Sheamus in the corner, escaping with elbow shots. Sheamus reverses a corner Irish whip and Rhodes goes full-force into the turnbuckles. Sheamus with a knee to the skull for 2. Sheamus connects with a suplex, but Rhodes gets back to his feet and mounts a mini-comeback but Sheamus drops him with a running clothesline. Sheamus throws Rhodes out of the ring but Rhodes skins the cat back in. He takes too long to gloat and Sheamus tosses him out to the apron before delivering the 10 Forearms of Doom. Sheamus gets a running headstart and knocks Rhodes off the apron to conclude the series. Sheamus follows Rhodes out, but Rhodes takes the fight to him. Sheamus with a mid-section shot to regain control, followed by smashing Rhodes back-first into the corner and then a fallaway slam into the apron. Sheamus rolls back into the ring as we go to commercial.

-Commercial Break-

Sheamus attempts to suplex Rhodes out to the floor but Rhodes blocks it and sends Sheamus into the steel post. Rhodes gloats to the crowd as Sheamus writhes in pain on the floor. Sheamus makes his way back in at the count of 6 and Rhodes immediately tries to stomp a mudhole in him. He follows up by choking Sheamus with his boot and a midsection kick. Rhodes strikes Sheamus down to the mat and gets a 2-count out of it. Sheamus starts fighting back but runs into a midsection dropkick from Rhodes. Sheamus sits up and Rhodes hits him with a running knee for 2-count. Rhodes with a submission hold to wear “The Celtic Warrior” down. Sheamus fights his way out and hits an Irish Curse backbreaker to stop Rhodes’ momentum.

Rhodes charges out of the corner but Sheamus hits him with the polish hammers and the running knee-lift. Clothesline in the corner from Sheamus who then heads to the top rope. Rhodes connects with a knee, sending Sheamus crashing to the mat. Rhodes covers for the victory, but only gets 2. Rhodes attempts the Cross Rhodes but Sheamus flicks him off. Sheamus follows up with the White Noise and the Brogue Kick for the 1…2…3.

Winner [via Pinfall]: Sheamus (14:01)

  • MATCH THOUGHTS: This match was almost worth sitting through that horrible opening segment. Really good back and forth action. Not surprising that Sheamus picked up the win but it sucks to see Rhodes continuing to job post-Rhodes Scholars. Hopefully it’s just a phase and Cody Rhodes: World Heavyweight Championship contender becomes a reality.

—–

Up next: Daniel Bryan takes on Damien Sandow!

—–

-Commercial Break-

—–

A vignette hyping the debut of Fandango plays. All he says is his name. Of course.

—–

“Hallelujah” plays, bringing out Damien Sandow mic in hand. Sandow introduces himself and says he’s disgusted that his best friend Cody Rhodes isn’t allowed in the Elimination Chamber match and that all of the “half-wits” in the audience cheer Sheamus and his horrible impressions.

  • THOUGHTS: You and me both, sir.

A “You suck!” chant breaks out and Sandow thanks them for their irrevelant opinion. Sandow says he will avenge Rhodes’ loss by defeating his arch-nemesis Daniel Bryan (using the awesome phrase “bearded goatface, I summon thee!”). Out comes Bryan as we see clips of him costing Kane his singles match against Sheamus on Raw.

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Match #2: Daniel Bryan Vs. Damien Sandow

Bryan with European uppercuts to start off. Bryan with a running knee to the gut which sends Sandow flipping to the mat. Sandow fights  back with a couple of strikes but Bryan ducks a clothesline and takes him down with one of his own. Bryan with a corner dropkick which nets him a 2-count. Bryan knocks Sandow out to the floor and hits a running knee from the apron. Bryan rolls Sandow back in as fire erupts from the entrance stage. Out comes Kane and Bryan immediately yells at him to get to the back. Sandow rolls a distracted Bryan up for 2. Bryan responds with the No! Kick combo, then tells Kane to leave. Kane makes fire come out of the ringposts, distracting Bryan once again and allowing Sandow to hit the Terminus for the 1…2…3!

Winner [via Pinfall]: Damien Sandow (2:33)

  • MATCH THOUGHTS: Hey a little storyline continuation on what is ostensibly the C-show. Much respect. Too bad this match didn’t last too long, though; maybe when they re-do the entire thing on Raw they’ll get more time.

—–

Post-Match: Kane feigns an apology from the entrance stage as Bryan looks on in anger.

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Brodus Clay is stopped backstage by Tamina Snuka and Aksana. They try to convince Clay to hire them as his new dancers. Out come Cameron and Naomi and all four ladies get in a shouting match. Clay calms down his Funkadactyls, but Aksana and Snuka egg them on and The Funkadactyls throw gravy (or something) on the evil duo.

  • THOUGHTS: Uhhh…alright. These segments are throwing me for a loop.

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-Commercial Break-

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RAW Rebound: The last segment from Monday’s show. I’m not going to recap a recap, deal with it.

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WWE.com Exclusive: John Cena addresses The Shield after RAW goes off the air. Cena, Sheamus, and Ryback challenge The Shield for Elimination Chamber.

—–

Brodus Clay and The Funkdactyls make their way out to the ring to “Somebody Call My Momma”. Clay gets on the mic and asks the kids if they’re ready to get funky. Aksana and Tamina Snuka come out of nowhere and ambush Cameron and Naomi from behind. A brawl between the four Divas breaks out as we go to commercial.

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-Commercial Break-

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Match #3: The Funkadactyls (Cameron & Naomi) [w/ Brodus Clay] Vs. Aksana & Tamina Snuka

Brodus Clay is on commentary. Snuka and Cameron start the match off. Cameron with a split-legged armdrag takedown. Cameron does a little dance and goes for a monkey flip but Snuka pushes her off. Cameron with a kick and a bulldog (Snuka falls too quick) for a 2. Snuka uses her power to fight back and drops Cameron with a clothesline followed by a couple of legdrops. Aksana tags in and chokes Cameron on the middle rope. Aksana with a sidewalk slam then suggestively crawls towards the fallen Cameron for a 2-count. Aksana applies a reverse chinlock to wear Cameron down. Cameron throws Aksana off, but Aksana responds with a knee to the back of the neck to prevent a tag. Aksana whips Cameron in the corner, but Cameron sidesteps a splash and rolls her up for 2. Cameron with a basement dropkick and a hot tag to Naomi.

Naomi takes Aksana with a hurricanrana and a flip clothesline before dropkicking Snuka out to the floor. Naomi takes it to both women, hitting both of them with a baseball slide after an athletic fakeout. Naomi rolls Aksana back in and hits a top-rope crossbody for 2. Naomi follows up with a spinning leg kick on Aksana for the 1…2…3!

Winners [via Pinfall]: The Funkadactyls (4:36)

  • MATCH THOUGHTS: I never thought I’d see The Funkadactyls actually wrestle so I applaud the WWE for ending the show with something different. However the match itself wasn’t very good. They went out of their way to highlight Naomi’s high-flying offense, but it was very fake-looking and Aksana did a terrible job of selling all of it. And considering Aksana insulted Naomi by calling her “Kofi”, having her come out and essentially do a Kofi-esque job on offense didn’t really make sense. Aksana was right then, I guess? Also I guess Kofi is an insult? Weird. Either way cool novelty factor of seeing something fresh but not really a match worth watching quality-wise.

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Post-Match: Brodus Clay and The Funkadactyls celebrate by dancing as we fade to Ion logo.

*****

Overall Show Thoughts:

  • Main Event arrived back in October under the guise of being a show filled with nothing but big-league talent. As the months go by it looks like the WWE is doing what it usually does and giving up on its C-show, relegating it to ridiculous filler and a big name here and there. A lot of fans probably aren’t down with that. But as someone who adored Superstars before it became one giant recap show, I absolutely welcome the change. It’s Superstars with actual backstage segments. I love that and I enjoyed Main Event enough to keep watching for the time being. A lot of it was ridiculous, but it had one really good match (Sheamus/Rhodes) and its stupidity was goddamn endearing. Sometimes I’m easy to please.

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