[PPV Results] WWE Survivor Series 2012

The 2012 Survivor Series is barely an hour in the record books and if you’re as addicted to the internet as I am you’ve noticed all the nerdgasms from the hardcore wrestling fans about a certain couple of debuts tonight. But we’ll get to that in a second (that’s called a tease, kids). Hit “read more” for the full results of the show, plus any other notes you need to know to get ready for Raw tomorrow. Results come from both WWE.com and Jason Powell‘s live (and far more detailed, so read it) coverage of the event on ProWrestling.net.

*****

Match Results

Pre-Show: 3MB (Heath Slater/Jinder Mahal) defeated Zack Ryder/Santino Marella.

  • Notes: Drew McIntyre returned to be by the side of his “bandmates” after taking some time off to cope with the death of his mother.

1. Rey Mysterio/Sin Cara/Tyson Kidd/Justin Gabriel/Brodus Clay defeated The Prime Time Players (Darren Young/Titus O’Neil)/Primo/Epico/Tensai in a Survivor Series match.

  • Notes: Mysterio/Cara/Kidd/Gabriel were the sole survivors. Kidd/Gabriel were initially tapped to open the pre-show against 3MB but were pulled at the last second, I guess for this match.

2. Eve Torres (c) pinned Kaitlyn to retain the WWE Divas Championship.

  • Notes: Aksana attacked Kaitlyn before the match while wearing the dreaded and often talked about “blonde wig” insinuating that she was the one who attacked her way back at Night of Champions.

3. Antonio Cesaro (c) pinned R-Truth to retain the WWE United States Championship.

  • Note: Cesaro cut an anti-Thanksgiving promo before his match, mocking both the U.S. economy as well as our obesity epidemic. That’s some old school foreign heel sh*t there.

Storyline: AJ Lee Presents Vickie Guerrero with evidence of her own…?

  • Lee skipped to the ring and said Guerrero had forced her hand and was now going to present evidence of her own. Guerrero stormed out and Lee showed her the “incriminating photos”: Guerrero eating BBQ with Jim Ross, burritos with Ricardo Rodriguez, and in lingerie with Brodus Clay dancing around. All of these were obviously photoshopped. Guerrero vehemently protested these and threatened to slap her. Lee not only said that she couldn’t touch Guerrero because she’d be fired but Guerrero couldn’t touch her or she would be fired. Out of nowhere Tamina Snuka attacked Lee from behind and finished her off with a Superfly Splash.

4. Sheamus defeated The Big Show (c) via DQ. Big Show retains the World Heavyweight Championship.

  • Notes: Show pulled the ref into a Brogue Kick to get himself disqualified. After the match Sheamus went nuts and repeatedly beat down Show with a chair. Show begged him to stop, and Sheamus did…until unleashing a Brogue Kick to the fallen champion for added measure. Show crawled his way to the back, selling the damage inflicted by Sheamus. This apparently is setting up a Chairs match for next month’s PPV.

5. Team Ziggler (Dolph Ziggler/Alberto Del Rio/Wade Barrett/Damien Sandow/David Otunga) defeated Team Foley (Randy Orton/The Miz/Kofi Kingston/Daniel Bryan/Kane) in a Survivor Series match.

  • Notes: Ziggler was the sole survivor of his team, superkicking Orton during an attempted punt kick to secure the win (the announcers and Foley’s facial expressions question Orton’s motives for trying the punt kick in the first place). Otunga replaced Cody Rhodes, who was legitimately injured earlier in the week. Foley gave Ricardo Rodriguez the Mandible Claw (Mr. Socko included) at ringside.

6. CM Punk (c) defeated John Cena and Ryback to retain the WWE Championship.

  • Notes: Here’s how the finish went down: Ryback hit the Shell Shock on Cena, but out of nowhere Dean Ambrose, Roman Reigns, and Seth Rollins hit the ring and attacked “Big Hungry”. They threw him through the Spanish Announce table ringside, allowing Punk to pin the still out cold Cena for the 1…2…3. The three were mentioned by name by Michael Cole so their NXT names are sticking. Punk will celebrate his one year as champion tomorrow on Raw.

—–

Other Notes:

  • Pre-show commentary was handled by Scott Stanford and Matt Striker. Striker sported a porn ‘stache that puts Joey Ryan‘s whole sleazy look to shame.
  • Michael Cole, JBL, and Jerry Lawler handled commentary for the PPV.
  • Paul Heyman was interviewed early in the show to put over CM Punk and brush off any suggestions that they had a plan going into the main event.
  • There was a backstage segment where Mick Foley tried to rally the troops and quell any dissension by getting everyone to do “Bang Bang!” Everyone did except Randy Orton, who simply said “I hate you” and walked off. Foley took that as Orton being ready.

*****

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