[Flashback PPV Recap] WWF Summerslam 1991

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Date: August 26, 1991

Location: Madison Square Garden (New York, New York)

Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon/Bobby Heenan/”Rowdy” Roddy Piper

It’s been 21 years since Summerslam 1991 first aired live on Pay Per View. Does the event still hold up? Read this detailed and stream of consciously written recap to find out.

Lineup for WWF Summerslam 1991:

  • Match Made in Heaven: The Wedding of “Macho Man” Randy Savage and Miss Elizabeth
  • Match Made in Hell [Special Guest Referee: Sid Justice]: Hulk Hogan/The Ultimate Warrior Vs. The Triangle of Terror (Sgt. Slaughter/Col. Mustafa/Gen. Adnan)
  • Jailhouse Match: The Big Boss Man Vs. The Mountie
  • No Countouts, No Disqualifications: The Nasty Boys (Brian Knobbs/Jerry Sags) (c) Vs. The Legion of Doom (Animal/Hawk) for the WWF Tag Team Titles
  • Mr. Perfect (c) Vs. Bret “The Hitman” Hart for the WWF Intercontinental Title
  • The Bushwhackers (Luke/Butch) Vs. The Natural Disasters (Earthquake/Typhoon)
  • Greg “The Hammer” Valentine Vs. Irwin R. Schyster
  • Ricky Steamboat/Davey Boy Smith/Kerry Von Erich Vs. The Warlord/Power and Glory (Paul Roma/Hercules)

We are live from Madison Square Garden and we go right to our commentators for the evening (Gorilla Monsoon, Bobby Heenan, and Roddy Piper) who hype up the upcoming card. We are headed right to the ring.

Match #1 (Six-Man Tag Team Match): Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat/”The Texas Tornado” Kerry Von Erich/”The British Bulldog” Davey Boy Smith Vs. The Warlord/Power and Glory (Paul Roma/Hercules Hernandez) w/ Slick

Steamboat and Roma start off the match. Roma gets the early offensive with a bodyslam and a dropkick. Roma gloats to the crowd on the second rope and waits for Steamboat to get up. Roma jumps, but gets caught in a deep arm drag on his way down. Steamboat continues to wrench on Roma’s left arm. Roma pushes him into the corner and lands a series of blows to Steamboat’s head. Roma whips Steamboat into the corner, but misses when he charges in, allowing Steamboat to retake the advantage with a series of armdrags.

Roma tags in Hernandez and gets a series of armdrags for his troubles. Von Erich tags in and continues to work on Hernandez’s left arm.  Von Erich rams Hernandez head-first into the turnbuckle ten times, then climbs the second rope to deliver ten punches as the crowd counts along. Warlord and Smith both tag in at once. After a series of shoulderblocks, Smith finally knocks Warlord off his feet. Smith delivers a suplex but only gets a 2-count. Steamboat tags in and lands a chop from the top rope. Warlord reverses an Irish whip into the corner, but Steamboat jumps out of the way. Warlord uses his power to take the advantage immediately after.

Roma tags in and continues to wear down Steamboat. Roma goes to bodyslam Steamboat, but he reverses and goes for the pin. Hernandez misses a clothesline breakup but distracts the ref long enough to let Warlord connect with his. Steamboat and Roma trade blows, and Roma applies a front facelock which gets turned into a suplex for a 2-count. Roma delivers a series of backbreakers before dropping him like a rag doll. Hernandez tags in and Roma holds Steamboat as Hernandez delivers a series of crushing blows to his back. Hernandez delivers a monster bodyslam and easily fights off an attempted comeback.

Warlord tags in and delivers another bodyslam to Steamboat. Roma tags in and jumps on Steamboat’s back as Warlord holds him in a front facelock. Steamboat tries to fight back but Roma quickly tags Hernandez in to stop it. Steamboat slides under Hernandez’s legs and starts fighting back but Hernandez lands a stun gun to once again stop the comeback. Warlord tags in and lands a forearm to Steamboat’s back followed by another bodyslam. Warlord heads to the second turnbuckle but meets boots to his face when he comes down. Steamboat delivers the hot tag to Von Erich who starts cleaning house. Von Erich hits a backdrop on Von Erich, but Warlord attempts a sunset flip. Smith tags in mid-flip. Smith lands a running powerslam on Roma for the 2-count. Steamboat tags in and hits the flying crossbody from the top rope for the 1…2…3!

Winners: Steamboat/Von Erich/Smith via Pinfall (10:42)

  • A fun enough opening six-man contest, but the action itself wasn’t too exciting. A lot of bodyslams and power moves, which isn’t surprising given the talent involved. Steamboat, as usual, shined the brightest with his flying crossbody and his awesome ability to play the babyface in peril. Not a match you need to rush out to see. (C+)

Back to the announce table, where the commentators plug “1-900-ATTACHED”, a hotline where fans can call Randy Savage and Miss Elizabeth and wish them luck on their impending nuptials tonight.

Backstage, Sean Mooney is with WWF IC Champion Mr. Perfect and his manager Coach (John Tolos). Perfect says in order to be a champion he has to be perfect and while his opponent Bret Hart is excellent, he isn’t perfect.

Match #2: “Mr. Perfect” Curt Hennig(c) w/ Coach Vs. Bret “The Hitman” Hart for the WWF Intercontinental Title

Hart and Perfect lock up, and Hart quickly applies a headlock. Perfect whips him into the ropes and gets knocked down. Hart reverses an attempted hip block, sending Perfect to the outside of the ring. Perfect runs back in and the two lock up, with Hart getting a headlock once again. Hart ducks a clothesline, and gets a crucifix pin for a quick 2-count. Hart works Perfect to the ground with a side headlock. They get back to their feet, and Perfect tries to whip him off but Hart grabs his hair and keeps the headlock applied. Hart once again keeps the side headlock on when Perfect attempts to whip him off. Perfect finally gets out with a knee to the midsection. Hart gets whipped into the ropes, ducks a clothesline, and hits a crossbody for a 2-count. Hart gets knocked to the apron, rams his shoulder in Perfect’s midsection, and connects with a sunset flip for another 2-count.

Hart quickly goes back to the headlock. Perfect pushes Hart to the ropes and delivers a knife-edge chop. Perfect whips Hart into the ropes and goes for a kick, but Hart catches his leg and knocks him down. Hart teases the Sharpshooter but kicks him instead. Perfect hits a scoop slam but Hart hits one of his own. Hart clotheslines him over the top rope and onto the floor. Perfect starts heading to the back, but Hart drags him back into the ring, ripping Perfect’s singlet in the process. Perfect begs off into the corner. They lock up and Hart backs him into the corner. When the ref tries to break them up, Perfect cheapshots Hart in the face. Perfect lands a kick right to Hart’s ribs. He hits him in the ribs again and Hart rolls to the outside.

Perfect follows him out and chops Hart loudly in the chest. Perfect rolls back into the ring and argues with the ref as Hart slowly tries to recover on the outside. Hart gets to his feet and the crowd goes crazy. Hart gets to the apron and Perfect punches him right off. Hart gets back to the apron and Perfect launches him into the steel ringside barriers. Hart rolls in and Perfect keeps attacking, but Hart starts fighting back. He rolls up Perfect for a 2-count, and Perfect lands a shot to regain the advantage. Perfect rams Hart facefirst into the turnbuckle and lands a knife-edge chop. Perfect whips Hart into the opposite corner so hard the ring moves. Perfect goes for the pin but only gets a 2-count.

Perfect hits his Snap Neckbreaker and goes for a pin but only gets another 2-count. Hart reverses an irish whip but is met with a dropkick and rolls back to the floor. Perfect goes to the outside and the two trade blows. Perfect goes to the top rope, and Hart meets him on the apron. Both get to the second turnbuckle and Hart gets knocked off. Perfect sort of falls onto Hart and gets a 2-count (weird). Perfect sets Hart in the corner and slaps him a couple of times. Perfect tosses Hart out of the corner by his hair. A “Let’s Go Bret!” chants starts. Perfect applies a sleeperhold, and Hart starts losing consciousness. Hart keeps his arm up to let the ref know he’s alive and gets back to his feet. Hart busts out of the sleeperhold, hits the ropes, and goes for a Crucifix but Perfect slams him to the mat. He goes for the pin but only gets another 2-count. Perfect pushes Hart into the corner, lands a series of chops and launches Hart chest-first into the opposite turnbuckle. Perfect goes for another pin and gets another 2-count.

Perfect connects with the Perfect Plex, but only gets a 2-count! Coach goes nuts at ringside as Perfect argues with the ref. Hart gets to his knees and starts fighting back. He hits an inverted atomic drop on Hart, followed by a regular atomic drop. Hart headbutts Perfect and throws him out of the corner hair-first for revenge. Hart connects with a suplex but only gets a 2-count. The crowd is not happy. Hart goes for a small package but only gets another 2-count. Hart lands a Russian legsweep for a 2-count. Hart connects with a backbreaker and lands an elbow from the second turnbuckle. Hart goes for the pin. 1…2…KICKOUT! Hart freaks out and starts arguing with the ref.

This distraction allows Perfect to roll him up, but he only gets a 2-count. The two head back outside and Perfect goes shoulder-first into the ringpost. Hart throws Perfect back in and follows suit. Hart kicks Perfect’s legs from under him. Hart goes for the Sharpshooter, but Coach gets onto the apron to distract him. Hart knocks him off, and Perfect attacks from behind. Another “Let’s Go Bret!” chant breaks out. Perfect lands a legdrop to Hart’s midsection. Perfect goes for it again, but Hart blocks it and turns it into the Sharpshooter! Perfect quickly submits and Bret Hart is the new WWF Intercontinental Champion!

Winner and NEW Intercontinental Champion: Bret “The Hitman” Hart via Submission (18:03)

  • A solid match between the two and a testament to the badassery that was Curt Hennig, who worked the match with a hurt back that ended up putting him out of action for well over a year. Hart was definitely made, and this is a match worth remembering for historical purposes, but it also hasn’t aged well. It’s slow-paced and has its fair share of stalling (which makes sense given Hennig’s injury, but not everyone watching knew about it), but a good overall technical showcase. The commentary also helped elevate the match to epic proportions, especially Heenan who used his history as Perfect’s former manager to inform his reactions. (B)

Hart rips off Perfect’s singlet and celebrates in the ring with the belt in his hand and the singlet over his shoulder. “Lord” Alfred Hayes tries to get a word with Stu Hart, who’s in attendance, but Hart comes over and embraces him and his mother Helen Hart. Hayes gives up rather easily.

A promo for Hulk Hogan: A Real American Story, a PPV-exclusive look at the career of Hulk Hogan. I forgot that they did these, holy crap.

Backstage, “Mean” Gene Okerlund is with The Bushwhackers and Andre the Giant. We see a video from last month, where Earthquake attacked Andre from behind and injured his leg. Luke and Butch yell nonsensically about beating The Natural Disasters tonight. I don’t know what they said. They scare me.

Match #3: The Bushwhackers (Bushwhacker Luke/Bushwhacker Butch) w/Andre the Giant Vs. The Natural Disasters (Earthquake/Typhoon) w/Jimmy Hart

The Bushwhackers sneak up behind The Natural Disasters and poke them in the eye to start the match, then go to celebrate with Andre. Butch and Typhoon start the match. Typhoon pushes him in the corner and goes for a forearm, but Butch ducks and bites him on the a** before Earthquake comes in to make the rescue. Luke comes in and The Bushwhackers slingshot The Natural Disasters into one another. The Bushwhackers clean house early and play to the crowd.

Earthquake attacks Butch from behind and smashes him into the corner. Earthquake snapmares Butch to the ground and Earthquake goes for an elbow. Butch moves out of the way and goes to tag Luke but Earthquake grabs his legs to hold him back. Earthquake delivers an elbow drop to Butch’s back and tags Typhoon in. Typhoon tags Earthquake and drops Butch into his arms for a bearhug. Bobby Heenan leaves the commentator booth to deal with “Real World’s Champion” business.

Earthquake delivers another backbreaker and tags Typhoon back in. Typhoon whips Butch into the ropes and hits an elbow. He goes for the pin but Luke breaks it up. Typhoon holds Butch for Earthquake but he ducks and Earthquake hits his partner instead. Butch makes the hot tag to Luke, who knocks Typhoon down after repeated attempts. All four end up in the ring and The Bushwhackers deliver the Battering Ram to both Natural Disasters, knocking Earthquake out of the ring. Earthquake incapacitates Butch on the outside, and attacks Luke from behind. He delivers the Earthquake Splash for the 1…2…3!

Winners: The Natural Disasters via Pinfall (6:42)

  • Wow, that was a rough match to watch. Not much redeeming here except for reliving The Bushwhackers’ antics. Andre had no effect at ringside either, making his appearance altogether useless. Essentially a squash match to put The Natural Disasters over. (D+)

The Natural Disasters make their way to Andre on the outside bent on attacking him. The Legion of Doom come out to defend the legendary giant and chase them to the back. LOD and The Bushwhackers head to the back.

Backstage, Bobby Heenan is carrying the WCW Title Belt and heads to Hulk Hogan‘s locker room. The door open and Heenan tries to challenge him to a match on Ric Flair‘s behalf, but the door slams mid-pitch and Heenan walks away in a huff. We go back to the announce booth and Monsoon/Piper are having a laugh at his expense. They plug the 1-900-ATTACHED number again and take it to the back to Randy Savage who on the phone talking about his impending nuptials with someone from the Hotline (supposedly).

Backstage, Sean Mooney is with “The Million Dollar Man” Ted DiBiase and Sensational Sherri to interview him about his upcoming Million Dollar Title match against Virgil. Mooney reminds the viewers at home of all the humiliation Virgil went through as DiBiase’s former bodyguard. DiBiase says he’s going to humiliate Virgil tonight. He says he’s leaving Virgil with one momento: his crying towel. Cue the greatest maniacal laugh in wrestling history.

Match #4: Virgil Vs. “The Million Dollar Man” Ted DiBiase w/ Sensational Sherri for the Million Dollar Championship

Virgil attacks DiBiase from behind right at the bell and clotheslines him over the top rope and onto the floor. Sherri checks on her man as Virgil heads to the outside and continues the assault. He smashes DiBiase face-first into the ring steps and rolls him back into the ring. Virgil hits him with a series of Boxing punches, ducks a clothesline attempts, and connects with an Atomic Drop that sends DiBiase right back to the floor. The crowd goes wild (Virgil was over guys, I know it’s hard to believe). Heenan makes his way back to the announce booth as Monsoon and Piper mock him.

Virgil hops the ropes and attempts a splash, but DiBiase moves and he hits nothing but ringside mat. DiBiase throws Virgil into the ring steps and he flips over them due to the momentum. DiBiase smashes Virgil face-first in the ring steps and rolls him back into the ring. DiBiase whips Virgil into the ropes and hits a clothesline followed by a fistdrop. DiBiase stomps on Virgil’s head then heads to the second rope goading Virgil to get up. Virgil gets to his feet and DiBiase connects with a Double Axehandle. DiBiase goes for the pin but only gets a 2-count.

DiBiase sets Virgil in the corner and connects with a chop. DiBiase whips Virgil into the opposite corner and connects with a backdrop. DiBiase goes for the pin. 2-count. Virgil dumps an attempted clothesline and applies the Million Dollar Dream as Sherri freaks out at ringside. She runs in and hits Virgil with her purse. The ref stops the match and tells Howard Finkel that he won’t disqualify DiBiase; instead he bans Sherri and allows the match to continue. Sherri is forced to the back by WWF officials as the two combatants lay on the mat. The match is continuing. (My times might be off because of this, sorry in advance.)

They get to their feet and DiBiase goes quickly on the offensive. He tries to ram Virgil headfirst into the turnbuckle but he blocks it and smashes DiBiase’s face into the turnbuckle a total of (you guessed it) ten times. Virgil whips DiBiase into the corner and ascends the second rope to land a series of punches. DiBiase blocks an irish whip and clotheslines Virgil, who bumps the referee.

DiBiase mouths off to Piper at ringside. Piper starts cheering Virgil on. DiBiase connects with a suplex, followed by another. DiBiase plays to the crowd as the ref slowly wakes up. DiBiase goes for a third suplex and connects once again. DiBiase slaps the fallen Virgil and hits a Piledriver. DiBiase goes for the pin but the ref is still recovering. DiBiase kicks the ref back down and takes the cover off of one of the top turnbuckles. DiBiase picks Virgil up and mouths off to him. DiBiase goes to ram Virgil into the turnbuckle but Virgil blocks it and DiBiase meets turnbuckle steel twice. Both men go down as the ref finally wakes up. The crowd starts cheering Virgil to get up. Virgil crawls over to DiBiase and drapes himself over. 1…2…3!

Winner and NEW Million Dollar Champion: Virgil via Pinfall (11:50)

  • A really good match, and DiBiase/Virgil told a tremendous story in the ring. One of the ultimate “underdog” matches in WWF history. It had all the drama and suspense, heightened by Piper cheerleading on commentary and the roar of the crowd. I know people love the Hart/Perfect match more, but I’ve got to give this match the nod over that one for pure storytelling reasons. And yes, the action itself was good too making the match even better. Search this one out, especially those of you who only know Virgil from the “Wrestling Superstar” picture meme. (B+)

Backstage, “Mean” Gene is with The Mountie who is standing in front of an NYPD paddy wagon and two NYPD cops. We go back to an episode of Superstars where The Mountie cuffed Big Boss Man to the ropes and electrocuted him with his Cattle Prod (complete with cartoonish electrocution sounds). We go back to the interview and Mountie says after he beats Boss Man, the NYPD will take him to jail. Mountie says he wants the cops to do it the “Mountie way”, which involves shackling and dragging and such.

We cut to Sean Mooney who’s with The Mountie’s opponent Big Boss Man. Boss Man says The Mountie should be praying to God he makes it to tomorrow morning after spending the night in jail.

Match #5 (Jailhouse Match):  Big Boss Man Vs. The Mountie w/Jimmy Hart

Mountie tries to mouth off to Boss Man, who decks him. They exchange punches, and Boss Man whips Mountie in the ropes. Boss Man hits an elbow, followed by a splash for a 2-count. Boss Man delivers a headbutt and drapes Mountie over the second rope. He splashes Mountie on the second rope, then baseball slides to the outside. He chases off Hart and hits Mountie.

Boss Man gets back in and gets a thumb to the eye courtesy of Mountie. Mountie goes to the second rope, but Boss Man catches him in mid-air and delivers a spinebuster. Boss Man yanks on Mountie’s head to get him to submit. Hart distracts Boss Man, who runs to the outside to chase him down. Mountie comes up from behind and knocks Boss Man hard into the ring steps. Mountie rolls him back in the ring. Mountie whips Boss Man into the ropes and hits a jumping elbow followed by a couple of fist-drops.

Mountie whips Boss Man hard into the corner, who goes flying to the mat. Mountie delivers a bodyslam and goes for the pin. 2-count. Boss Man starts fighting back and reverses an Irish whip but misses a splash in the corner. Snapmare into a couple of elbowdrops by Mountie. He goes for the pin and it’s another 2-count. Mountie whips him into the ropes and connects with a dropkick. Another pin, another 2-count and Boss Man pushes him off to the floor. Mountie drapes Boss Man over the apron and elbows his sternum. Boss Man slides to the floor head-first.

Boss Man rolls back in and Mountie continues the attack. Boss Man starts fighting back with an uppercut but Mountie bites him to stop the momentum. Mountie connects with a messy-looking Piledriver. Hart distracts the ref and Mountie goes for the Cattle Prod. He tries to zap him, but Boss Man moves and uppercuts him sending the Cattle Prod flying. Mountie leapfrogs Boss Man, but gets an uppercut for his troubles. Boss Man connects with the Boss Man Slam for the 1…2…KICK OUT. That doesn’t seem right.

Mountie goes for another Piledriver, but Boss Man picks him up and slams him to the mat for the 1…2…3!

Winner: Big Boss Man via Pinfall (9;37)

  • Clumsy match, but nothing offensive. The finish was a little awkward though and something I’m pretty sure was botched, evidenced by the way Boss Man won a few seconds later with something other than his finisher. Oops. Again nothing too special but nothing too obscene either. Not everything can steal the show. (C+)

Boss Man signals for the NYPD, who cuff The Mountie and follow Boss Man to the back. The cameras follow as Mountie starts screaming and saying “You can’t do this to me!”. Boss Man pushes Mountie into the paddy wagon and Boss Man says “goodbye jailbird!” as the paddy wagon leaves the arena for the jailhouse.

Backstage, “Mene” Gene is joined by DiBiase and Sherri who interrupt him. DiBiase calls his loss a “ripoff” and how Virgil should’ve been DQ’ed for attacking him before the bell. He yells that Virgil stole his Million Dollar Championship.

We go to Sean Mooney who is with new IC Champion Bret Hart. Hart says it’s his greatest day (for now!) and Mr. Perfect found out the hard way what he’s all about.

Back to “Mean” Gene who’s with The Natural Disasters and Jimmy Hart. Hart expresses concern for The Mountie’s impending night in jail. Typhoon says they will chew the Legion of Doom up and spit them out. Earthquake says the LOD are history.

And now back to Sean Mooney, who’s with Big Boss Man. Boss Man asks him what kind of bird can’t fly (answer: a jailbird! *rimshot*) and says he’s the law and order of the World Wrestling Federation.

And now back again to “Mean” Gene who’s in Randy Savage’s dressing room looking for words about his impending nuptials. Savage is on the phone with “another” Hotline caller (again, supposedly). Gene tries to get him to talk but Savage says he’s on the phone. Gene goes to talk to Miss Elizabeth instead, but Savage stops him and says Gene can stay. Gene says it’s intermission time for the US viewers and “UK News” time for the U.K. viewers.

*5 Minute Intermission. Countdown is in the corner while the 1-900-ATTACHED phone number gets most of the screen. Hotlines used to be the sh*t, internet generation.*

We transition from intermission with the Summerslam intro video. We go to the announcers who hype up the “Match Made in Hell” and go over what they’ve seen so far. Heenan thinks Sid Justice has some ulterior motives coming up in his special referee stint for that match.

We are at the jailhouse, where The Mountie arrives. He screams about them hurting him and about his right to an attorney and repeatedly yells “I AM DA MOUNTIE!”

Backstage, Sean Mooney is with WWF Tag Champs The Nasty Boys and Jimmy Hart. Hart freaks about The Mountie and then Mooney talks to the Nasties about their upcoming defense against The Legion of Doom. Jerry Sags says the LOD are going to Nastyville. Brian Knobbs yells about the LOD going down and leave. Hart stays with Mooney, who shows him some more of Mountie’s route to being locked up.

Back in the jailhouse, Mountie is being booked. Mountie tries to avoid getting his picture taken.

Back to the backstage area, Hart screams about this being an invasion of privacy and freaks out.

Cut to “Mean” Gene who’s with The Legion of Doom, Hawk and Animal. Animal says the “No Countout, No DQ” stipulations is right up their alley and talk about why they went out to defend Andre from The Natural Disasters earlier tonight. Hawk says The Natural Disasters have bitten off more than they can chew and hype up their inevitable future match against them. Hawk switches to The Nasty Boys and says the LOD are monsters while the Nasty Boys are just boys. “Owwww, what a rush!” and such.

We are back at the jailhouse, where The Mountie is still being booked. They ask him to see a finger, and he flips them off. They pry his fingers and start fingerprinting them.

Cut to Sean Mooney, who is with The Triangle of Terror (Sgt. Slaughter, General Adnan, and Col. Mustafa). Slaughter calls Mooney a “puke face” and says Hulk Hogan and The Ultimate Warrior will be outnumbered tonight and bring up Warrior being bit by a cobra the weeks prior courtesy of Jake “The Snake” Roberts. Slaughter says it’ll be easier to beat them than they thought, and they might have one more little surprise…

And now we’re with “Mean” Gene who’s with Sid Justice, who will be the special guest referee for the “Match Made in Hell”. His referee shirt is a tank top so he can show off his muscular body. Ew. Justice says he’s a man who stands alone. Gene shows him footage from earlier today where The Triangle of Terror try to recruit Justice. Justice says he didn’t promise them one thing nor did he promise Hogan/Warrior one thing. He promises that tonight “Justice will be served”. Hey, that’s his last name!

Match #6 (No Countouts, No Disqualifications): The Nasty Boys (Brian Knobbs/Jerry Sags) (c) w/ Jimmy Hart Vs. The Legion of Doom (Hawk/Animal) for the WWF Tag Team Titles

LOD attack right at the bell and throw The Nasty Boys out of the ring. They take off their shoulder pads and take the fight to the Boys on the outside. Animal and Knobbs roll into the ring and start fighting. Animal gets a power bomb and almost gets the pin, but Sags runs in to make the save. Hawk goes for a kick but Sags catches it, allowing Hulk to hit an Enziguri for a 2-count. Hart throws Sags a spraycan and he sprays something in Hawk’s eyes.

Outside of the ring, Sags grabs a tray of sodas and smashes Hawk with it. Sags grabs a camera chord but Hawk rolls back in so he has to drop it. Back in the ring, Knobbs tags in and they connect with a double boot to Hawk’s gut. The ref tries to keep the peace even though there are technically no rules. Knobbs pushes Hawk into the corner and they take turns choking him with the tag rope. Knobbs kicks Hawk to the outside of the ring. Knobbs distracts the ref (why?) and Sags smashes Hawk into the steel steps. Knobbs jumps off the apron with a double axehandle on the fallen Hawk. The ref continues to try to enforce rules for no reason.

Hawk blocks a punch and lands one of his own, followed by a chop but Sags regains order and tags Knobbs in. Knobbs whips Hawk into the ropes and hits a back elbow. He goes for the pin but only gets a 2-count. Quick tags by The Nasty Boys as they continue to wear Hawk down. Knobbs splashes Hawk in the corner and tags in Sags who hits an elbow from the top rope. He goes for the pin but Animal breaks it up.

Knobbs goes for a high flying move of his own but Hawk gets the boot up. Animal gets the hot tag and starts cleaning house, clotheslining both Nasty Boys. He puts Knobbs in the corner and hits a few punches before jumping off the second rope and hitting Sags. He hits a powerslam on Knobbs and goes for the pin but Sags breaks it up. All four men get in the ring, and Hawk gets thrown out. The Nasty Boys double-team Animal. Sags nails Animal with the motorcycle helmet. Knobbs goes for the pin. 1…2…KICK OUT. Animal throws Knobbs out of the ring with his kickout.

In the outside, Hawk gets the helmet and knocks Knobbs out, then hits Sags with it. Animal gets Sags up and Hawk connects with the Doomsday Device. 1…2…3!

Winners and NEW Tag Team Champions: The Legion of Doom via Pinfall (7:44)

  • A really tame match considering the stipulations. Maybe I’m just too used to how hardcore wrestling has become since then. Also the ref trying to keep any order seemed ridiculous since there were no rules in the match to begin with. Either way it was a h0-hum brawl that felt like an afterthought given the push for a LOD/Natural Disasters feud occurring beforehand. (C)

We go back to the jailhouse, where The Mountie is being brought to his jail cell. He tries to escape but the cops grab him. They stick him in his jail cell, still cuffed (that’s not right). Mountie yells for Jimmy Hart.

A quick ad for their next pay-per-view Survivor Series. Ah the good old days when there wasn’t 3000 PPV’s a month.

Irwin R. Schyster is already in the ring for his next match. He gets on the mic and tells the crowd they need to pay their taxes. Dumb character but it worked (as I’ve already stated before).

Match #7: Greg “The Hammer” Valentine Vs. Irwin R. Schyster

Valentine gets a quick hammerlock but IRS gets into the ropes to break the move. They lock up and Valentine gets a headlock. IRS whips him into the ropes but gets knocked down by a shoulderblock causing IRS to beg off a little bit. Hammer applies another headlock and once again gets whipped in the ropes. IRS rushes at him this time but gets taken down once again with a shoulderblock. Third lockup, third Valentine headlock, third Irish whip. This time Valentine reverses an armdrag and lands a clothesline, which causes IRS to roll to the outside to catch his bearings.

IRS gets back in and gets the advantage with a series of punches. He tries to backdrop Valentine, who turns it into a sunset flip for a 2-count. Valentine hits a bodyslam and runs to the outside. Valentine follows him out this time and throws him back in. IRS attacks Valentine as he rolls back in. IRS applies an Abnominal Stretch, using the top rope for leverage. The ref questions him about why the rope is shaking. IRS uses the top rope once again and the ref (Danny Davis, who used to be a heel wrestler mind you) asks again. The ref catches him this time and Valentine hip tosses IRS off. IRS, however, catches him with a great clothesline and goes for the pin. 2-count.

IRS puts Valentine in a front facelock. The crowd is silent as hell, minus some “Boring” chants. Valentine breaks out of the facelock but IRS bodyslams him. IRS heads to the top rope but Valentine throws him off. IRS begs off into the corner and Valentine pulls him out by his tie. Valentine chops him into the corner. IRS reverses an Irish whip into the corner but misses with a knee. Valentine starts working on his left knee to set up for the Figure Four. Valentine applies the Figure Four Leglock but IRS grabs the ropes to break the hold.

Valentine rips IRS off of the ropes and he goes for an elbowdrop. IRS moves, but Valentine atomic drops the knee of IRS. Valentine delivers a headbutt in his midsection then goes for the Figure Four. IRS grabs Valentine by the hair and rolls him up for the 1…2…3!

Winner: Irwin R. Schyster via Pinfall (7:06)

  • The crowd was dead for the entire match, and frankly so was I. By the numbers and boring in-ring wise and there was no story to it since it was a filler match.Valentine playing the face is also off-putting for obvious reasons. Utterly forgettable. (C-)

Another “Hot Ticket” promo for the “upcoming” PPV retrospective on Hulk Hogan.

Backstage “Mean” Gene is with WWF World Heavyweight Champion Hulk Hogan and The Ultimate Warrior. Hogan says MSG is the most appropriate place to have a “Match Made in Hell” (which could be deemed a heel-ish remark if read the wrong way) and promises to end The Triangle of Terror. Warrior gives another unintelligible promo about their upcoming match and talks about being bit by the cobra. Hogan says the venom from the cobra just made Warrior stronger (?!?). Hogan and Warrior both say the “Whacha gonna do…” line together.

Main Event (“Match Made in Hell”): Hulk Hogan/The Ultimate Warrior Vs. The Triangle of Terror (Sgt. Slaughter/General Adnan/Col. Mustafa) [Special Guest Referee: Sid Justice]

Hogan and Slaughter start off and stare each other down. Slaughter tries to use some sort of weapon but Justice takes it and throws it out of the ring. They lock up and Slaughter pushes Hogan into the corner and starts laying forearms into his chest. Hogan reverses an Irish whip and hits Slaughter with a forearm on his way out of the corner. Slaughter takes punches from both Hogan and Warrior before falling. Hogan attacks Adnan and Mustafa on the corner. Warrior tags in and he and Hogan give Slaughter a double clothesline. Warrior delivers a front atomic drop to Slaughter. Hogan tags in and he and Warrior hit a double boot to Slaughter. Hogan smashes Slaughter face-first into the top turnbuckle and goes for the pin. Mustafa breaks up the count.

Hogan throws Slaughter in the ropes and hits an elbow. Warrior tags in and throws Slaughter into the ropes, hitting him in the mid-section with a punch. Warrior smashes Slaughter’s head into Hogan’s boot and tags him in. Hogan launches off the second rope with an axehandle and goes for the pin. The Triangle of Terror breaks it up.

Hogan clotheslines Slaughter in the corner and chokes him. Justice separates Hogan from Slaughter for doing so, being an impartial referee. Hogan tries again and once again Justice pulls him off. Slaughter attacks while Hogan is distracted. Slaughter smashes Hogan’s head into Mustafa’s boot. Adnan tags in and hits Hogan with a series of blows. Adnan rakes Hogan’s back repeatedly and hits a series of blows to the mid-section.

Mustafa tags in and hits a gutwrench suplex on Hogan. Mustafa applies the Camel Clutch on Hogan. Warrior kicks him off. Slaughter tags back in and executes a backbreaker. He goes for the pin, only getting a 2-count. Slaughter chokes Hogan in the corner and Justice rips him off. Slaughter whips Hogan into Justice accidentally and as they stare down, Slaughter attacks Hogan from behind. Adnan tags in and scratches, bites, you name it. Slaughter quickly tags back in and heads to the top rope. Warrior pushes him off the crowd’s delight.

Warrior gets the hot tag and revs up. He knocks Slaughter down with a series of clotheslines. He accidentally runs into Justice, and that allows Slaughter to attack him from behind (good psychology there). Warrior gets backed into the Triangle’s corner. Adnan tags in and some more back rakes, this time to Warrior. Mustafa tags in and tries for a suplex, but Warrior blocks it and hits a suplex of his own. Slaughter tags in and prevents the tag to Hogan. Adnan and Slaughter double team Warrior while Justice’s back is turned.

Slaughter connects with a short arm clothesline, and then hits at Hogan to antagonize him. Slaughter whips Warrior into the ropes, who ducks a clothesline, and hits one of his own. Hogan gets the crowd to help wake Warrior up. Hogan gets the hot tag and points at Slaughter. He lays into him with a series of punches, followed by a big boot. He hits Adnan with a punch of his own, and Warrior comes in to take down Adnan and Mustafa. Hogan rams Slaughter into the turnbuckle, while Warrior chases away the other two members of the Triangle away with a chair. Hogan hits Slaughter with mysterious powder before hitting the Leg Drop of Doom for the 1…2…3!

Winners: Hulk Hogan/The Ultimate Warrior via Pinfall (12:39)

  • Given the five men involved in that match, it shouldn’t surprise you that the action was a bit…ugly throughout the entire contest. Adnan was especially horrific since all he could do given his age was rake backs and hits weak forearms. Mustafa also didn’t really add much either, meaning Slaughter had to carry the match which was a bit unfortunate. And the finish…where did Hogan get that powder from? Came out of nowhere. I did, however, appreciate the psychology Slaughter used by ramming Hogan and Warrior into Justice to distract them long enough to attack. That was pretty damn smart. It should also be noted this is the last time anyone saw Warrior until Wrestlemania VIII due to the whole “holding up Vince for more money” event that happened prior to this match taking place. Just a fun historical footnote since there’s really not a lot to talk about match-wise here. (C-)

Hogan celebrates the victory in the ring and starts doing his “Posedown” routine. He stops midway through and beckons for someone to come out. Sid Justice pokes his head out from behind the curtain confused as to why he’s being beckoned (making a face that made me bust out in laughter). Justice heads to the ring and does a Lesnar jump to the apron before heading in. Hogan rips his shirt off (cue the porno music) and invites him to do the end of match “Posedown” with him. Justice is terrible at it, but in a comedic way. Man, Sid was always accidentally funny wasn’t he?

Cut back to The Mountie who’s behind bars and begging for his phone call. He ends up being propositioned by a gay biker who is also in lockup because this is 1991 and making horribly stereotypical gay jokes was perfectly fine. Mountie obviously freaks out about it, the irony of his profession (fighting half-naked dudes) lost on him.

We see a replay of Randy Savage’s declaration of love/marriage proposal to Miss Elizabeth awhile back on TV. It’s absolutely adorable. I can’t believe I just said “adorable” in a wrestling recap. He also says her name like “ElizaBIT” which makes me happy. It’s followed up by a video package that showcases the history of Randy Savage/Miss Elizabeth set to an embarrassingly corny 90’s love ballet. Wow.

Back from that ridiculous music video, the ring is set up for the wedding. Here we go!

*Match Made in Heaven* The Wedding Between “The Macho Man” Randy Savage and Miss Elizabeth

Savage is wearing a ridiculous outfit, as per usual. Elizabeth comes out wearing a beautiful wedding dress. Wedding goes off without a hitch (pun intended, bah bah bah). What do you want me to say? It’s a godd*mn wedding. A whole lot of confetti and streamers rain from the rooftops as the two celebrate their newfound (in storyline anyway) marriage.

We cut to the wedding reception, where Elizabeth is opening up presents. Inside one of the boxes is a cobra, which causes everyone to start screaming. The Undertaker appears and hits Savage with the Urn. Jake Roberts and The Deadman have crashed the wedding, but no time to sit and stew because the event is over! Fade to black.

Average Match Grade: C+

  • Favorite Match: Virgil/Ted DiBiase (yes, feel free to yell at me for not having Hart/Perfect on top)
  • Least Favorite Match: Bushwhackers/Natural Disasters

Overall Show Grade: B-

  • Summerslam 1991 has not aged that well since the first time I saw 21 years ago. Some of the matches were still great (Hart/Perfect, Virgil/DiBiase) but there was a lot of forgettable dreck in there as well. The multiple interview segments broke up the flow of the PPV and got annoying towards the middle, when they would go back to back to back to back. However there was enough good to outweigh the bad to give this a passing grade. It’s just not an event you should rush out and see unless you’re a gigantic wrestling completion nerd. The highlights will be just fine.

Agree? Disagree? Leave a comment below or email me at theprowrestlingnerd[at]live[dot]com.

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