[PPV Recap] WWE Summerslam 2012

Announced Lineup:

  • Triple H Vs. Brock Lesnar (w/ Paul Heyman)
  • CM Punk (c) Vs. John Cena Vs. The Big Show for the WWE Championship
  • Sheamus (c) Vs. Alberto Del Rio (w/Ricardo Rodriguez) for the World Heavyweight Championship
  • Chris Jericho Vs. Dolph Ziggler (w/ Vickie Guerrero)
  • The Miz (c) Vs. Rey Mysterio for the WWE Intercontinental Championship
  • Kofi Kington/R-Truth (c) Vs. The Prime Time Players for the WWE Tag Team Titles
  • Kane Vs. Daniel Bryan
  • [Summerslam Pre-Show] Santino Marella (c) Vs. Antonio Cesaro (w/ Aksana) for the WWE United States Championship 

*Summerslam Pre-Show* (Note: I will not be completely paying attention to this, so apologies if this section isn’t all-encompassing)

Scott Stanford and Matt Striker welcome the home audience.

Summerslam Video Hype: CM Punk/John Cena/Big Show triple threat.

Pre-Show Main (Only) Event: Santino Marella (c) Vs. Antonio Cesaro for the WWE United States Championship

 Marella gets a quick waistlock pinning combo for a 2-count. Cesaro gets the upper hand and whips Marella into the ropes, who goofily walks then goes for a quick pin. 2-count. Marella goes for the Cobra, but Cesaro clotheslines him.

Cesaro continues the assault with a series of headbutts and goes for the pin. 2-count. Cesaro sticks him in a rest hold, and Marella tries to get the Cobra back which is in the corner. Cesaro hits a European Uppercut and goes for the pin. 2-count. Cesaro applies a front facelock. Marella runs under his legs to grab the Cobra but Cesaro grabs him. Marella reverses a headlock with a back suplex.

Marella tries to grab for the Cobra again but Cesaro pulls him away. Marella kicks him off and gets close but Cesaro runs over, picks him up, and delivers a gutwrench suplex. Cesaro grabs the “Cobra” and rips it up. Marella is angry and hip tosses Cesaro. He tries for a headbutt, but Cesaro moves. Marella backdrops Cesaro to escape the Neutralizer. Marella pulls out an extra Cobra (dammit) and he puts it on. Aksana distracts Marella and Cesaro hits the Neutralizer for the 1…2…3!

Winner and NEW WWE United States Champion: Antonio Cesaro (5:02)

  • I thought this was going to be on the PPV channel itself, but ended up only on YouTube so I was a few seconds late to this. As for the match itself…it was nothing special (although Cesaro ripping up the Cobra was pretty awesome). Still, the right man won and the crowd in attendance knew it judging by the pop. I’m happy to see Cesaro get the opportunity. (C)

-Backstage, Triple H is with referee Scott Armstrong. He tells Scott to let him and Brock Lesnar fight.

-Stanford and Striker go through the Summerslam lineup.

Summerslam Video HypeSheamus/Alberto Del Rio

-Celebrity/regular people TOUTs/Tweets about the Triple H/Brock Lesnar match.

Summerslam Video Hype: Triple H/Brock Lesnar

And just like that, the pre-show is over! Stay tuned for the actual show!

Summerslam intro video plays, hyping the 25th anniversary as well as tonight’s card. Obviously it focuses on Triple H/Brock Lesnar. Maybe this is the one match show everyone has been calling it. Oh well. It’s doing its job of getting me hyped to see these two go at it.

The opening pyro goes off as we survey the sold out crowd at the Staples Center in Los Angeles, California. Michael Cole welcomes the home audience and brags about the attendance. We cut to the announce table where they begin hyping Triple H/Brock Lesnar…until they’re interrupted by the shrill voice of Vickie Guerrero.

Guerrero introduces Dolph Ziggler and as he heads to the ring, we see highlights of his Money in the Bank win last month at, erm, Money in the Bank. Chris Jericho makes his way out next, his ribs taped up thanks to a Ziggler attack last Friday on Smackdown.

Match #1: Chris Jericho Vs. Dolph Ziggler (w/ Vickie Guerrero)

A loud “Y2J” chant breaks out. Jericho goes to lock up, but Ziggler quickly exits to the outside. Jericho chases him around the ring, and they run back in. Jericho misses two clotheslines but hits a back elbow. He throws Ziggler face-first into the turnbuckle and connects with a loud chop. Ziggler reverses an Irish whip, but Jericho launches off the second turnbuckle with a clothesline. Jericho shoulder blocks Ziggler to the mat and catches Ziggler with a chop after he leapfrogs him.

Ziggler escapes a suplex and kicks Jericho right in the ribs. Ziggler delivers a gutbuster and continues working on the ribs with a powerful axehandle. Ziggler goes for the pin. 2-count. Jericho fights back and backdrops Ziggler over the top rope and onto the floor. Jericho plays to the crowd, then attempts a dropkick from the second turnbuckle but misses and ends up on the outside himself. Ziggler rolls back in.

Ziggler rolls out to break the count and whips him into the apron. Jericho rolls back in and Ziggler follows. Ziggler goes for the pin, but only gets a 2-count. Ziggler hits a dropkick right into the ribs and goes for the pin. 2-count. Ziggler ties Jericho up in some sort of submission (I forget the name of it, sue me). Jericho punches his way and they trade blows. Ziggler backs him into the corner and hits a splash. He throws him to the mat and goes for the pin. 2-count.

Ziggler hits a reverse neckbreaker and goes for the Jericho Pose pin. 2-count. Jericho gets up and hits a couple of chops but Ziggler fights back with fists of his own. Ziggler whips Jericho in the ropes, and Jericho rolls him up for a 2-count. Ziggler quickly hits a running clothesline to stop the momentum. Jericho gets up in the corner and Ziggler goes for a splash but misses. Jericho hits two shoulder blocks but Ziggler kicks him in the ribs once again to stop the comeback.

Ziggler throws Jericho in the corner but gets a boot to the face. Jericho follows it up with an axehandle from the second turnbuckle. Ziggler throws him into the turnbuckles and hits a Fameasser for the 1…2…KICK OUT. Vickie goes nuts at ringside. Dueling Jericho/Ziggler chants. Ziggler tries to kick him in the ribs but Jericho grabs the leg and attempts the Walls of Jericho but Ziggler gets out of it. Jericho hits an Enziguri for the 1…2…KICK OUT.

Jericho whips Ziggler into the corner and rushes in, but Ziggler jumps over and applies a sleeperhold to wear Y2J down. Jericho smashes Ziggler into the corner to break the hold. Ziggler goes to the second turnbuckle but Jericho chops and punches him. Jericho punches Ziggler a series of times then hits a top rope hurricanrana. Jericho goes for the cover. 1…2…KICK OUT.

Ziggler comes out of nowhere and hits a DDT and goes for the pin. 1…2…KICK OUT. Both men are down. Dueling Jericho/Ziggler chants resume. Ziggler rushes Jericho in the corner but gets an elbow followed by a running bulldog. Jericho goes for the Lionsault but gets knees to the ribs. Ziggler follows it up with a running neckbreaker and goes for the pin. 1…2…KICK OUT. Crowd goes nuts. Ziggler is in disbelief.

Ziggler goes to resume his offense but Jericho catches him with a Codebreaker out of nowhere. Ziggler rolls out of the ring, and Jericho goes out to roll him back in. Guerrero keeps Jericho from re-entering allowing Ziggler to roll him up for the 1…2…KICK OUT. Jericho regains the offense and locks on the Walls of Jericho (old school “on the neck” style) and Ziggler taps! The match is over!

Winner [via Submission]: Chris Jericho (13:05)

  • A really good opening match between these two, but not the “star making” contest I was hoping for. But you can’t deny they both gave it their all in the ring, and brought the damn house down. Going to be a tough act to follow. (B+)

Slim Jim commercial.

A shot of the Los Angeles skyline as Cole thanks the city for hosting another year of Summerslam. Back at the announce table, they quickly put over the match they just saw but quickly go back to Triple H/Brock Lesnar. We see clips from last week’s Raw where Lesnar broke Shawn Michaels’ arm.

Backstage, Matt Striker introduces Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman. Heyman says Lesnar will finish Triple H tonight and break the spirit of the WWE. Lesnar says that this is a fight Triple H can’t win. Heyman says “if you ain’t down with that, we have two words for you: TAP…OUT.” and Lesnar stares menacingly into the camera.

  • Cute way to end the interview segment.

Match #2: Kane Vs. Daniel Bryan

Bryan goes for a No kick but Kane catches it and knocks him to the mat. Kane misses an elbow and Bryan hits a series of kicks but Kane quickly outmuscles him. Bryan jumps over Kane but gets a bodyslam for his trouble followed by a sitting dropkick to the face. Kane goes for the pin. 2-count. Kane works Bryan over in the corner and whips him across the ring. Bryan tries to jump over but Kane catches him. Bryan gets out and attempts a Sunset Flip but Kane holds the ropes. Bryan runs at him and gets a boot to the face.

Bryan hits a series of No kicks to the hamstrings around the ring. Kane grabs Bryan and throws him over the top rope and onto the floor. Kane follows him out, and Bryan quickly runs in. He hits a baseball slide, then hurls himself through the second rope and onto “The Big Red Machine” (sort of…it looked kind-of weak). Back in the ring, Bryan goes to the top and hits a Missile Dropkick. He goes for the pin but only gets a 1-count.

Bryan hits a series of “No!” kicks on Kane but misses the last one and runs into a clothesline. Bryan clutches his left shoulder. Kane whips him into the corner and follows it up with a clothesline. He does it once again, then hits a side slam for the 1…2…kick out. Kane goes to the top rope and hits a clothesline. Kane attempts a chokeslam but Bryan gets out of it and rolls to the apron. Kane grabs him and Bryan drops him neck-first on the top rope. Bryan runs back in and gets a clothesline for his troubles.

Bryan slaps Kane in the face, which sets him off. Kane beats on Bryan in the corner and the ref has to all but drag him off. Bryan drop toeholds Kane to the second turnbuckle and kicks the second turnbuckle into his face. Bryan tries to apply the “No!” Lock but Kane pushes him off. Bryan responds with a kick to Kane’s head. The crowd starts chanting “Yes!”, which sets Bryan off. Bryan goes to the top rope and goes for the flying headbutt, but Kane catches him with his hand. Kane gets up and hits a chokeslam. Both men are down.

Kane signals for the end and yells at Bryan to get up. Kane goes for the Tombstone but Bryan rolls him up for the 1…2…3!

Winner [via Pinfall]: Daniel Bryan (8:02)

  • An okay match but definitely a step down after that great Jericho/Ziggler match. Bryan was fun as usual and the ending sequence was pretty awesome since no one ever gets out of the Tombstone. (C+)

Kane is backstage going absolutely crazy after Bryan stole the victory. Josh Matthews tries to stop him for an interview, but Kane grabs him by the throat and asks where Bryan is. Matthews doesn’t know so he gets thrown off-camera. Kane continues to search for Bryan as he knocks down a bunch of equipment in the hall.

Rey Mysterio makes his way out for the next match looking like Batman, followed by IC Champ The Miz. Miz walks through blow-up “Awesome” letters, a la his Wrestlemania entrance. Nice touch.

Match #3: The Miz (c) Vs. Rey Mysterio for the WWE Intercontinental Title

Miz and Mysterio lock up, and Miz gets a quick headlock. Miz gets sent to the ropes and responds with a shoulder block sending Mysterio to the mat. Mysterio gets a waistlock and flips him over to get a quick pinfall attempt. 2-count. Miz scrambles to the outside to recatch his breath, then runs back in. Miz kicks Mysterio in the gut and knocks him to the mat with a left hook. Miz whips Mysterio into the ropes, who takes him down with a spinning head scissors takedown.

Miz gets the advantage again and throws Mysterio under the bottom rope and onto the ground. He goads Miz to the outside, who obliges, but Mysterio rolls back in. Mysterio catches him with boots as he tries to come back in. Miz counters an attempted Mysterio move by slamming him chest-first onto the ringside barrier. Miz rolls him back in and goes for the pin. Barely a 2-count.

Miz locks on a chinlock, digging his knee into Mysterio’s back. Miz delivers a series of knees and picks him up but Mysterio reverses for a pinfall attempt. 2-count. Mysterio gets a series of kicks but Miz picks him up and hits a modified backbreaker for a 2-count. That was an, erm, awesome move. Miz gets on top of Mysterio and starts beating him down with his fists, then gets a running kick in. Miz goes for the pin, but gets only 2.

Miz applies a necklock on Mysterio, and the crowd tries to wake him up. Mysterio fights out of it and dropkicks Miz’s legs. Mysterio hits the ropes, but gets met with a clothesline. Miz goes for the pin, but only gets 2. Miz hits a running clothesline in the corner and sets on the second rope for a moment to gloat. Miz goes to the top but Mysterio crotches him. Miz falls to the apron and rolls back in. Mysterio goes to the top and hits a seated senton and hits the ropes. Miz catches him and hits a hell of a powerbomb for the 1…2…kick out (another cool move).

Miz goes for a kick, but Mysterio ducks and rolls him up for a 2. Mysterio answers with a kick of his own and goes for another pin. 2-count again. Miz pushes Mysterio in the ropes but gets a boot. Mysterio hits the ropes again and hits a spinning DDT for the 1…2…kick out. Mysterio goes to the top rope, but Miz catches him. Miz meets him up there but gets knocked off, and Mysterio launches and hits a Hurricanrana. Miz gets caught on the second rope and Mysterio hits the 619. Mysterio goes to the top to finish it but Miz moves. Miz goes for the Skull Crushing Finale, but Mysterio rolls him up for the 1…2…KICK OUT.

After both men spend some time out on the mat, Miz launches Mysterio face-first in the turnbuckle and hits a Skull Crushing Finale for the 1…2…3! Yes!

Winner and STILL Intercontinental Champion [via Pinfall]: The Miz (9:07)

  • A good match between the two and for awhile they had me believing Mysterio was going to pull off the victory. Miz had a lot of good offense as well, with some cool spots. Mysterio made him look like a dominant champion and did the job well, although he did already beat him so some of the impact wasn’t there. (B)

Ad for the new WWE app for iPhone/Android/etc.

Theodore Long and Eve Torres leave the office of Raw GM AJ Lee, singing her praises. CM Punk then makes his way in to talk to her. Lee has a happy/mischievous look on her face. Punk reiterates that he thinks Lee put him in this match because he didn’t accept her proposal. Lee tunes him out and stares off into the distance. Punk says that despite all the disrespect, he will retain his WWE Championship and prove once again he’s the “Best in the World”. He says everyone will be forced to show him respect tomorrow on Raw. Lee continues to look in the distance as Punk exits.

A recap of Sheamus/Alberto Del Rio airs to hype up the next match. It’s the one you’ve already seen a bunch of times, so feel free to tune it out.

Alberto Del Rio drives out a black 2010 Ferrari California for his entrance, in case any of you car people are reading. Out comes Sheamus next who points at the Ferrari and giggles (sigh), then makes his way to the ring.

Match #4: Sheamus (c) Vs. Alberto Del Rio (w/ Ricardo Rodriguez) for the World Heavyweight Championship

They lock up and Del Rio backs him into the corner. Sheamus pushes him off. Del Rio puts him in a different corner, and Sheamus hits a clubbing forearm. They lock up again and they go over the top rope. They continue fighting on the outisde and Sheamus rolls him back in. Del Rio kicks Sheamus in the head as he comes back in. Del Rio chokes him with his forearm then rushes in, but Sheamus hits him and hits a spinning neckbreaker for a 2-count.

Sheamus beats on Del Rio in the corner, but Del Rio grabs him and throws him into the turnbuckle. Del Rio tries to maintain the advantage but Sheamus picks him up and hits a rolling senton for a 2-count. Sheamus picks him up but Del Rio gets himself on the top turnbuckle to avoid whatever move would happen. Sheamus pulls him off after Del Rio pulls the pad off, but Del Rio gets off his shoulder and kicks him. Del Rio tries for the Cross Armbreaker, but Sheamus attempts the Brogue Kick, crotching himself on the top. Del Rio then kicks Sheamus all the way to the floor and he lands with a thud.

Del Rio heads to the outside and pushes Sheamus back-first into the ring steps. He rolls Sheamus back in and heads to the top rope. He connects with a fist (?) and goes for the pin. 2-count. Del Rio locks on a rear chinlock to wear the champion down. Sheamus punches his way out and tries to hit a neckbreaker but Del Rio kicks him in the leg. Del Rio hits a running kick to the face and goes for the pin. 2-count.

Del Rio chokes Sheamus on the second rope and lands a couple of elbows into his midsection. Del Rio reapplies the rear chinlock, and Sheamus headbutts his way out of it. Sheamus hits the ropes, but catches a knee to the midsection. Del Rio gets a running start and stomps Sheamus’ head to the mat. He goes for the pin, and only gets a 2-count. Del Rio mocks Sheamus’ set up to the Brogue Kick, slapping his chest with his forearm and yelling “Bro!”

Del Rio runs at him but gets caught with a clubbing blow. Sheamus goes for a shoulder block in the corner but Del Rio moves and he goes shoulder-first into the ring post. Sheamus punches Del Rio away and starts heading to the top, but Del Rio crotches him. Del Rio hits a codebreaker on Sheamus’ left arm from the second rope and goes for the pin. 2-count. Sheamus picks Del Rio up, but he escapes and locks on the Cross Armbreaker.

Sheamus gets to his feet, picks Del Rio up, and slams him to the mat. Both men lay on the mat, trying to regain their strength. A “Sheamus” chant breaks out due to that move (well-deserved, it was a cool spot). Del Rio catches Sheamus with an elbow but Sheamus picks him and hits a Samoan drop for the 1…2…KICK OUT. Sheamus goes for the Brogue Kick, but stops mid-move and drives his shoulder into Del Rio’s stomach. Sheamus puts Del Rio between the top and middle rope and lands ten clubbing forearms to his chest. He follows that up with a series of punches in the corner, but Del Rio slips out and Sheamus lands head-first in the exposed turnbuckle. Del Rio follows it up with a loud kick and goes for the pin. 1…2…KICK OUT. So close.

Del Rio pulls Rodriguez in, who was on the apron and throws him to the mat. Sheamus hits Del Rio with Rodriguez’s shoe, and hits the Irish Curse backbreaker for the 1…2…(Del Rio gets his foot on the rope, Sheamus “knocks it off”)…3! Still champion! Awkward finish.

Winner and STILL World Heavyweight Champion [via Pinfall]: Sheamus (11:22)

  • I guess this feud isn’t over yet, considering how the match ended (a bit of a botched ending too). Overall this wasn’t too bad of a match, with some pretty fun spots and hard-hitting action. But that doesn’t mean I want more of it. (B-)

Del Rio and Rodriguez argue with the ref about his foot being on the rope and Del Rio goes absolutely insane as the ref walks away to the back.

A video package about the WWE visiting the National Guard, because they care and such. Apparently they have a partnership. Right on.

We see shots of the California National Guard members that are in attendance tonight. A “USA!” chant breaks out…sort-of. It’s half-hearted. Back at the announce table, Cole and Lawler hype the September PPV Night of Champions, followed by the mention of a “Twitter war” between Piers Morgan and Mike Tyson about who will win between Triple H/Brock Lesnar.

Replay of Triple H telling Scott Armstrong to let them fight to the finish during the pre-show.

Match #5: Kofi Kingston/R-Truth (c) Vs. The Prime Time Players (Darren Young/Titus O’Neil) for the WWE World Tag Team Titles

Truth and Young start off. Truth immediately goes on the offensive with a series of blows and a shoulder block. Young reverses an Irish whip to the corner, but Truth jumps over him and hits a hip-toss. Truth does a little dance followed by a legdrop for a 2-count. A “Kobe Bryant” chant breaks out. Young kicks Truth and backs him into his corner. O’Neil tags in, but Truth starts fighting out. O’Neil catches him with a boot to the face and goes for the pin. 2-count.

O’Neil lands a massive forearm to Truth’s back to bring him to the mat, but Truth responds with a spinning heel kick out of nowhere. Kingston tags in and immediately chops O’Neil down to size with his offense. Kingston knocks him down with a clothesline and hits the Boom Drop. Kingston sets up for the Trouble in Paradise, but Young distracts him, allowing O’Neil to exit the ring. Kingston runs after him and ducks Young’s attempt to attack him, but runs into a clothesline by O’Neil. Truth tries to help, but the ref pushes him back.

O’Neil rolls Kingston back in and gets a 2-count. O’Neil slams him to the mat and gets another 2-count. Young tags in and O’Neil front suplexes his partner onto Kingston. Young goes for the pin and gets a 2-count. Young puts Kingston in a rear-naked choke but Kingston fights out. Young attempts a suplex, but Kingston reverses it into a pinfall attempt (2-count). Young knocks him back down and gets another 2-count.

O’Neil tags back in. Kingston fights back but O’Neil catches him an abdominal stretch. Kingston fights out but O’Neil catches him and goes for a slam. Kingston counters and DDT’s him to the mat. O’Neil tags Young, but Kingston makes the hot tag to Truth to balance it out. Truth rolls over Young with a series of forearms and a front-face slam. He goes for the pin, but O’Neil breaks it up. Kingston and O’Neil start fighting and Kingston hits a crossbody from the top to the floor. Young rolls Truth up but only gets a 2-count. Truth retaliates and hits a Flatliner-looking move for the 1…2…3!

Winners and STILL Tag Team Champions [via Pinfall]: R-Truth/Kofi Kingston (7:05)

  • An okay tag team match, but nothing special. I don’t know what else to say really. (C)

A video package of the WWE making fans happy all across Los Angeles. Red carpets, Make a Wish, Be a Star, yadda yadda.

Cole and Lawler hype the next match: Punk/Cena/Big Show for the WWE Championship. Apparently he still doesn’t get to main event PPV’s.

Video package to lead into the next match.

Match #6: CM Punk (c) Vs. John Cena Vs. The Big Show for the WWE Championship

Cena and Punk both go after Show, who knocks them down with ease. Show gives each man a headbutt, followed by punches right to the midsection. Show whips Cena into the corner and catches Punk mid-air, throwing him to the mat. Show drapes Cena over the top rope and chops him loudly, then does the same to Punk. Show gives Cena another chop. Punk tries to chop Show, but Show chops him right back.

Cena and Punk work together to beat down Show and they attempt a double suplex but Show suplexes both instead. There’s his one pop for the night. Show splashes Cena in the corner, and Cena rolls to the outside. Show turns his attention to Punk and splashes him next. Punk dropkicks Show in the knee mid-run and knocks him to the mat. Show gets to the knees and Punk kicks him in the chest repeatedly. Punk attempts the GTS on Show, but can’t do it and gets a chop for his troubles. Cena picks Show up for the Attitude Adjustment, but Punk attacks Cena from behind to stop it.

Punk goes to pin Cena, but Show breaks it up. Show punches Punk in the gut and throws him to the mat. Show stands on Punk’s back. Punk gets thrown face-first into the turnbuckle, and Show punches him in the gut followed by another chop. Show knocks Cena from the apron to the floor. Punk moves from an attempted Show splash, and launches himself onto the big man but gets caught and slammed to the mat. Show readies for the WMD, but Cena runs in and attacks him. Cena runs at him, but Show catches him with a spear. Show goes for the pin. 2-count.

Show lays both men next to one another and goes to the second rope. Punk moves but Cena gets hit with a Vader Bomb. Show goes for the pin but Punk breaks it up. Punk goes after Show but Show grabs him by the neck and pushes him to the outside. Show leaves the ring to beat on Cena some more. He beats down Cena then catches Punk in mid-air. He throws him against the ropes and Punk bounces off and goes facefirst to the floor.

Show and Cena are in the ring, and he continues his assault. Cena fights back and attempts the Five Knuckle Shuffle, but Punk clotheslines him to stop it. He mocks Cena, then heads to the top rope. Punk connects with the Flying Elbowdrop but only gets a 2-count. Show gets to his knees and Punk kicks him in the face. Punk applies a choke-like submission, but Show powers out and slams his fist into Punk’s chest.

Cena crawls back in and knocks Show down with a shoulder block. Cena locks on the STF but Show powers out and gets to his feet with Cena on his back. Show splashes him in the corner to break the hold. Show catches Cena mid-air and slams him to the mat, but Punk hits a springboard clothesline to knock him down. Show retreats to the corner and hits three high running knees. Punk tries for the bulldog, but Show pushes him off.

Cena heads to the top rope and hits a Fameasser. Punk locks him in a vice, and Cena puts on the STF and Show taps out. However both of them made him tap, so the ref doesn’t know who exactly won the match. Cena and Punk each argue their case to the referee.

Out comes Raw GM AJ Lee, who skips to the ring. She gets handed a mic. Cena and Punk both argue their case to her as well as Lee looks on. She pauses for a long-time then simply says “RESTART THE MATCH!”.

Cena and Punk turn and run into a double chokeslam by Show. He goes for a pin on both, but can’t get the job done. Cena ducks the WMD and hits the Attitude Adjustment on Show. Punk knocks Cena out of the ring and goes for the pin on Show. 1…2…3!

Winner and STILL WWE Champion [via Pinfall]: CM Punk (12:35, give or take)

  • Damn good triple threat match. Show looked like an absolute badass despite the fact the match wasn’t really about him. The double submission was also an inventive spot and made the match more interesting. Punk stealing the pin was great as well, and although it’s a heel-ish move, the crowd loved him for it. Makes sense too; I would do that if wrestling was real and I wanted to keep my belt. (B+)

Punk celebrates in the ring as Cena angrily walks to the back. Punk is all smiles. He is awesome, clap clap clap clap clap.

We see a shot of Vince McMahon’s star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, then we see shots of the celebrities in attendance. One of them, Fred Durst, flips off the camera. He should be fi…wait he doesn’t work for them. Damn.

Trailer for WWE Studios’ The Day starring Dominic Monaghan. They didn’t make it, as evidenced by the fact it doesn’t look wretched. Comes out in limited release August 29th.

We see a shot of the stars of The Day who are sitting front row and most likely are spending their time off-camera staring at their phones waiting to go home.

Cole and Lawler recap Antonio Cesaro‘s U.S. Title win from the pre-show. I’m happy to relive this moment. Too bad I’ll have to watch Smackdown to see what he does with it.

Lilian Garcia introduces Kevin Rudolf who performs the official Summerslam theme song you’re undoubtedly sick of hearing by now. I know I am. The WWE Divas come out to dance along on stage. Cole obnoxiously dances while Lawler looks on disgust. This is actually entertaining besides the song. I even skipped my smoke break.

Cole makes a lame “tornado warning” joke about the upcoming main event. He brings up tweets about the match and other such nonsense.

Triple H/Brock Lesnar video package. This is the last time we ever have to see this. FINALLY.

Main Event: Triple H Vs. Brock Lesnar (w/Paul Heyman)

Triple H and Lesnar go right at each other. Lesnar tries to get the Kimura Lock on but Trips counters and attacks. Lesnar jams him back into the corner and lays in some more shoulder blocks. Lesnar goes for the Kimura Lock again and wraps his legs around the standing Triple H. He lets go and Trips fights back, clotheslining him over the top rope and onto the floor. Lesnar runs right back in and Lesnar pushes him back into the corner and hits a clothesline. Triple H comes out of the corner with a high-knee and clotheslines him over the top rope and on the floor once again.

Lesnar circles and gets back into the ring. He takes off his MMA gloves and smiles. Lesnar takes him down and hits a massive fist to the back of his head. Triple H rolls to the outside and Lesnar follows. Triple H fights back but Lesnar lays some knees to the midection. Lesnar slams Triple H on the announce table and on his left arm. Lesnar rolls back in and waits for Triple H to get back in. Stalling, much?

Lesnar pulls Triple H under the bottom rope by his hair and bodyslams him on his left arm once again. Lesnar says the ring is his house. Lesnar goes for the Kimura Lock once again and backs him to the corner. Lesnar wraps it over the top rope and pulls. Lesnar continues kicking Triple H’s left arm. Triple H fights back with kicks to the midsection, but Lesnar once again applies the Kimura and throws him shoulder-first into the top turnbuckle.

Lesnar picks him up for the F-5 but Triple H wiggles out. Lesnar retaliates with a German suplex. Lesnar is bleeding from the nose a little bit. Lesnar steps on Triple H’s left hand and stomps on the arm with his other foot. Triple H rolls out but Lesnar tries to bring him back in. Triple H hangs him over the top rope and runs back in. Triple H gets in a couple of rights, a kick, and then a DDT. Lesnar puts on the Kimura again and then once again bodyslams Triple H on the bad arm.

Lesnar lays into Triple H with forearms to his back, and Trips rolls to the outside. Lesnar follows, and gets a kick to the gut. But Lesnar recoups and whips Triple H arm-first into the ring steps. Lesnar smashes Triple H back-first into the edge of the announce table. Lesnar turns the table over and stands on top of the edge. He jumps off and hits a massive punch. That was pretty damn brutal-looking.

Lesnar rolls him back into the ring and follows suit. Triple H fights back with a series of shots to the midsection, but Lesnar rolls him up for a 2-count (heh?). Lesnar reverses an Irish whip and hits a powerful clothesline. This crowd is dead freakin’ silent. Triple H blocks a suplex attempt and hits one of his own, and finally the crowd has a little bit of energy. Lesnar misses a splash and Trips sets up for Pedigree, but Lesnar gets out of it and tosses him back to the floor.

Lesnar goes to pick Trips up, but he gets launched gut-first into the announce table. Lesnar appears to be really hurt by it and doubles over. Trips punches him in the stomach to keep the pain coming. Back in the ring, Lesnar attempts another Kimura but Trips knees him in the stomach to break the hold. Trips gets a running knee into Lesnar’s midsection and continues the assault. Trips continues with the knees then hits a spinebuster. Trips kicks him and tries for the Pedigree, but Lesnar counters and attempts the F-5. Trips slips out and hits the Pedigree for the 1…2…KICK OUT.

Trips goes to continue the assault, but Lesnar hits a low blow. Heyman tells Armstrong to not ring for the bell because Trips wanted this to end in a pinfall or submission. Lesnar tells Trips to get up and hits the F-5 for 1…2…KICK OUT. Lesnar tries for yet another Kimura and this time he gets it locked in, legs wrapped around and everything. Trips makes it to the ropes, but no rope breaks according to Trips’ instructions. Trips punches him until he breaks the hold.

Trips kicks him in the gut and hits another Pedigree. He rolls him over to go for the pin, but Lesnar locks in the Kimura out of nowhere. Triple H taps out! LESNAR WINS! Whoa.

Winner [via Submission]: Brock Lesnar (18:44)

  • I respect both men for putting on such a hard-hitting and intense match, but I’ve got to be honest with you: it felt really slow and repetitive. The intensity just wasn’t there, which was disappointing because they were pushing it as a match where both men were coming to “fight”. I don’t know. It had its moments, but it was a flat way to end the show. Damn. At least the right man won I guess? (C+)

Medical officials tend to Triple H in the ring, as Lesnar and Heyman exit to the entrance area. They turn to survey the damage, then head to the back. Triple H pushes away medical officials and tells them to get out. He stands up as the crowd chants “You tapped out!”. Triple H says “I’m sorry” as the crowd cheers him. Triple H gets out of the ring and starts walking to the back, apologizing to the fans along the entrance area. He tears up. He looks over the audience while on the stage and mouths “Goodbye” before leaving to the back. That ends Summerslam 2012.

Overall Show Grade: B-

  • Favorite Match: Chris Jericho/Dolph Ziggler
  • Least Favorite Match: R-Truth and Kofi/The Prime Time Players

Overall Show Thoughts:

  • Overall Summerslam was a good PPV with some really good matches, but with their main draw of Triple H/Brock Lesnar flatlining like it did (at least to me), it took a lot of the air out of the room. I respect the match they chose to put on and it was pretty brutal in its tameness (that doesn’t make sense), but it’s 2012; a match like that just doesn’t fly and it ended the show on a sour note. Luckily their undercard performed well enough to keep this one from being a “miss”. It’s a strong show worth seeing…when you can rent it. No need for the replay malarkey.

Prediction Score: 7/8

  • I honestly thought Ziggler would’ve beaten Jericho, but outside of that I was spot-on with my picks. I feel good about that because I’m a sad, sad person.
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