[TV Recap] WWE Raw – 7/30/2012

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On this week’s edition of Raw, a new #1 contender is named to CM Punk‘s WWE Title and Punk himself explains why he left The Rock laying at the end of the 1000th episode special. A.J.‘s first week as GM has its ups and downs (and pants suits), while Daniel Bryan finally loses his mind. All that plus Chris Jericho, Dolph Ziggler, Sheamus, and many others in action!

A low-key opening to Raw tonight as Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler welcome the home audience. Apparently there was a fire earlier today so the fans are still filing into the arena. That’s unfortunate.

A video package airs highlighting all of the events from last week’s historic 1000th episode, ending with CM Punk laying out The Rock with the GTS.

“Cult of Personality” plays as WWE Champion CM Punk makes his way out. He’s getting quite the ovation, heel-ish turn last week be damned. The cheers are now turning partly into boos. Punk says everyone wants their Wrestlemania moment and last week he had a Raw moment (one bigger than most people’s WM moments). Punk says the way last week’s show ended left a bad taste in his mouth, particularly Lawler’s last words (“CM Punk has turned his back on the WWE Universe”). Punk leaves the ring and sits on the announcer’s table right in front of Lawler. Punk says he’s used to bad commentary but doesn’t understand how Lawler jumped to that conclusion. Punk says The Rock is one single man, not the WWE Universe. Punk says The Rock disrespected him last week by interrupting him and trying to make the 1000th episode of Raw all about him. Punk says he showed Rock what he’ll be dealing with come Royal Rumble. He brings up the fact The Rock hasn’t said anything since then, which perturbs Punk because Rock wouldn’t shut up during his feud with John Cena. Punk says last week ended the way every Raw should end: with the focus on the WWE Champion. He holds the belt up in Lawler’s face.

The Big Show interrupts the segment and heads to the ring. Punk gets back into the ring to face him. Show says the end of Raw 1000 was actually all about him, not Punk. Show says he’s the one that cost Cena the championship, making him the first man to unsuccessfully cash in the Money in the Bank contract. Show mocks Punk for not being able to beat Cena despite the fact that Show knocked him out. Show says the only reason Punk is still champion is because of him. Show vows to be the next WWE Champion.

As they stare each other down in the ring, Cena runs to the ring and starts attacking Show. Show pushes him off then quickly exits the ring as Punk looks on. A “Cena” chant breaks out. The ring announcers introduces A.J. Lee (I guess she got her last name back), the new General Manager of Raw. She comes out to the entrance way wearing a pants suit. She announces the main event: John Cena Vs. The Big Show, with the winner to face Punk at Summerslam for the WWE Championship. I’m glad they’re finally putting this match on (*rimshot*).

  • Punk was brilliant in this segment, from his words to his reactions when Show and Cena came out to “steal his spotlight”. I really like where they’re going with him and it makes perfect sense; if you were the top guy in a company but were constantly overshadowed you’d be pissed off too. The announcement of a Cena/Show match, no matter how predictable, is not the most exciting of main event announcements.

Commercial Break

Backstage, Daniel Bryan walks up to A.J.’s office and goes to knock but instead walks away.

Santino Marella comes out for the first match of the night, followed by Alberto Del Rio who is without his car and his pyro (both banned thanks to the fire that happened before the show).

Match #1: [WWE United States Champion] Santino Marella Vs. Alberto Del Rio w/ Ricardo Rodriguez

Del Rio gets the early advantage with a suplex and series of blows. Del Rio backs Marella into the corner and works over his arm in preparation for his Cross Armbreaker submission. Del Rio whips Marella into the opposite corner, but Marella backdrops him to the apron. Marella connects with a dropkick which sends Del Rio to the floor. Del Rio looks on with shock as we go to commercial.

Back from commercial, Marella is fighting his way out of an armbar but Del Rio quickly lands a couple of blows to stop the comeback. Del Rio connects with a jumping stomp and then continues to work on Marella’s right arm. Marella starts fighting out of the hold but Del Rio kicks him in the thigh and snaps a headlock on. Marella counters it with a suplex and starts his comeback. Marella ducks a clothesline with the splits but Del Rio kicks him in the face for his troubles. Del Rio tries the stomp from the second rope but Marella moves out of the way. Marella pulls out his Cobra sock and gets ready to finish him off. Del Rio catches him and sends his arm into the steel post followed by a lung blower to the right arm. Del Rio applies the Cross Armbreaker and Marella quickly taps.

Winner: Alberto Del Rio via Submission (7:35)

  • A long-form squash match (and probably Santino’s longest match in quite some time), which shouldn’t be altogether surprising except for the fact that Marella is, I don’t know, THE U.S. CHAMPION. I liked the way Del Rio shut down all of Marella’s comedy spot attempts though; I’m surprised more people don’t do that. Either way this was a forgettable and generic match. (C)

Del Rio grabs a mic and stands over the fallen Marella. He says he just destroyed the U.S. Champion like nothing. He says everyone is beneath him, including Marella and World Champion Sheamus. Del Rio says that starting today he will not be competing until Summerslam because he only wants to wrestle if it’s for the World Heavyweight Championship.

  • Del Rio’s refusal to wrestle until Summerslam makes logical sense, but in the process of that logic he buried the U.S. Championship to an even deeper level. Great. Will someone please beat Marella for it already? He doesn’t need it and it could be used to build an up and coming superstar instead of a comedy act that won’t ever main event a PPV (I say this as a fan of Marella’s comedy).

Backstage, Daniel Bryan is pacing back and forth in front of A.J.’s office. He stares at the door with apprehension.

Plug for the Cena/Show main event.

Commercial Break

We come back from commercial to Brodus Clay and his dancers dancing in the ring. The routine is interrupted by the screeching voice of Vickie Guerrero. She walks to the ring and mocks Clay’s attempts to dance. She gets in the ring and starts dancing to a random techno song to show Clay up. Thankfully Damien Sandow comes out to interrupt the anti-comedy. Sandow walks to the ring and we see last week’s footage where he was attacked by Degeneration-X. Back to present time, Sandow attacks Clay out of nowhere and beats him down. He breaks Clay’s necklace over his knee. Sandow’s music hits and he stares at the crowd with disgust.

  • Damien Sandow is now my favorite wrestler in the WWE. Maybe ever. I am beyond happy to have been spared another pointless Clay squash.

We see footage from the Chris Jericho/Dolph Ziggler confrontation on Raw two weeks ago, followed by Jericho attacking Ziggler last Friday on Smackdown after a Sheamus ‘Brogue Kick’.

Cole and Lawler announce that Jericho will team with Christian tonight to take on Ziggler and IC Champion The Miz. Excellent.

Commercial Break

Daniel Bryan finally builds up the courage and walks into A.J.’s office. She interrupts him mid-rant and calls him out on the fact there were people in white coats backstage last week. Bryan says they were groomsmen, not workers from a mental hospital. A.J. says she’s all about a clean slate and puts him in a match against Sheamus. He asks if it’s for the World Title and she starts chanting “No!”.

  • And here I was thinking they weren’t going to ever mention the “men in white” from last week ever again. So far it looks like A.J. Lee is all but done being crazy and is transitioning into a more serious role. That’s disappointing. I hope she does something insane tonight just to keep that part of her character up since that’s why people started liking her in the first place.

We see a recap video from last week where Triple H and Stephanie McMahon manipulated Paul Heyman into accepting Trip’s challenge for Summerslam on Lesnar’s behalf.

Cole and Lawler tell the WWE Universe to vote for what kind of match Sheamus and Bryan will wrestle in tonight.

Sheamus is heading towards the ring when Josh Matthews stops him for a quick interview. Matthews asks him what kind of match Sheamus wants and he says “the rougher, the better”. Very subtle, WWE. Sheamus then says Matthews looks uncomfortable, which goes absolutely nowhere, before continuing on his path to the ring.

Commercial Break

We see another recap of the fire that happened before the show in order to explain why there’s going to be no pyro tonight.

Daniel Bryan makes his way to the ring for the next week and we see a recap of his botched wedding from last week. He gets on the mic and yells at the crowd to stop chanting “Yes!”. He’s the only one who can chant it and starts chanting “No!” at them when they start the chant up. World Heavyweight Champion Sheamus makes his way out next and we see clips from an episode of Smackdown four weeks ago when Del Rio smashed his car’s hood over Sheamus’ head and back.

Lawler reveals which type of match it will be: it’ll be a Street Fight! The manipulation worked!

Match #2: [World Heavyweight Champion] Sheamus Vs. Daniel Bryan in a Street Fight

Bryan rushes Sheamus right at the bell and connects with a series of “Yes!” kicks. Sheamus uses his power to fight back with a series of forearms. Bryan gets whipped into the corner, but backflips behind Sheamus. Sheamus hits him with a backbreaker and gets a 2-count. Sheamus throws Bryan into the corner again, but Bryan drop toe-holds him into the middle turnbuckle. Bryan drops a knee over Sheamus’ neck and puts him in a wristlock. Sheamus starts fighting back and reverses an Irish whip. Sheamus connects with an elbow and a series of knees. He goes for another pin but it’s only 2.

Bryan rolls to the outside and Sheamus follows. Sheamus sends Bryan head-first into the ringside barrier. They fight into the entrance way, and Sheamus backdrops him onto the cold hard floor. Bryan walks up to the stage and gets sent head-first into the WWE sign. Bryan wiggles out of a Samoan Drop, and Bryan “Yes” Kick’s him off the stage and to the floor. Bryan connects with a flying knee from the stage and we are now going to commercial.

We’re back from break and back in the ring, with Bryan applying an armlock on Sheamus. Sheamus tries to go on the offense but Bryan dropkicks him out of the ring. Sheamus catches Bryan’s attempted splash from the apron and throws him into the ringside barrier via Fallaway Slam. Bryan lands a series of forearm blows to Bryan’s sternum and connects with a suplex onto the floor.

Sheamus rolls Bryan into the ring and pulls out a chair and a Kendo stick. Bryan quickly pushes both weapons out of the ring, but Sheamus clotheslines him to the floor. Sheamus starts heading to the outside, but Bryan hits him with the Kendo stick. Bryan rolls in and continues cracking the stick over Sheamus’ body.   Bryan rolls to the outside, and grabs the chair. He rolls in and sets it up in between the top two turnbuckles. Bryan goes to hit Sheamus with the stick, but Sheamus grabs it away and starts hitting him with it. Bryan dropkicks Sheamus into the chair and goes for the pin. 1…2…KICK OUT.

On the outside, Sheamus shoulder blocks Sheamus to the ground and throws the chair at him. He removes the top ring step and goes to slam him on it but Bryan slips out. Sheamus then tries to ram him into the ring post, but Bryan moves out of the way and Sheamus goes shoulder-first into the post. Bryan throws the ring steps into the ring and whips Sheamus into the ringside barrier.

Bryan and Sheamus get back into the ring and Bryan goes for the Kendo stick. However, Sheamus grabs the other end and thus begins a tug of war. Sheamus pulls Bryan into him and goes for the White Noise on top of the steps but Bryan slips out and pushes him into the ropes. Sheamus returns with a Brogue Kick for the 1…2…3!

Winner: Sheamus via Pinfall (14:05)

  • A really good match by TV standards but weak by Street Fight standards. Very tame, all things considered. But the two work very well together and I was definitely entertained. I also loved seeing the Kendo stick make its return to the WWE; it’s one of my favorite weapons. (B)

The announcers recap Punk’s calm tirade from earlier tonight and hype the impending Cena/Show main event.

Commercial Break

Back from commercial and Bryan is still in the ring throwing a fit while surrounded by officials. He says he’s not leaving the ring until he gets a doctor.

Another recap of the opening segment from earlier tonight, but this time the focus is on the announcement of Cena/Show facing off in the main event.

Bryan is still in the ring yelling for a doctor when Kofi Kingston and R-Truth head to the ring for Kingston’s singles match. Kingston has a mic. He says he knows Bryan has had a bad week but he shouldn’t take it out on the people. R-Truth says he needs to “skidaddle” because they have business to handle. Bryan starts talking to the invisible “Little Jimmy” and then “kicks” him. R-Truth runs to the outside and holds the “child” in his arms. Bryan says Little Jimmy doesn’t exist and R-Truth is out of his mind. The men in white coats come out to take R-Truth away. A.J. Lee comes out and says R-Truth isn’t the one who needs help, it’s Bryan who needs the help. A.J. says Bryan seems “mentally unstable” tonight and should undergo a psychiatric evaluation. The men in white surround Bryan in the ring and lead him to the back. Bryan and A.J. stare down on the entrance ramp and A.J. blows him a mock kiss then waves goodbye.

  • Alright, that was pretty awesome. I’m liking A.J.’s revenge on Bryan…and I’m kind of pumped to (hopefully) see skits of Bryan stuck in a mental institution. Maybe Scott Hall will show up as a bus driver for absolutely no reason.

Commercial Break

The announcers hype that Vince McMahon will be on Smackdown this Friday to name their new GM. R-Truth sits Little Jimmy down on a chair by Lawler.

We see TOUTs from fans talking about Punk’s actions from last week.

A.W. comes out to introduce The Prime Time Players, Darren Young and Titus O’Neil.

Match #3: Kofi Kingston [w/R-Truth) Vs. Titus O’Neil

O’Neil goes on the offensive quick, and catches Kingston mid-air for a backbreaker. O’Neil tosses Kingston on the mat. O’Neil bodyslams Kingston and goes for a pin but only gets a 2-count. O’Neil applies a chinlock, and knocks him down with a forearm when he tries to fight back. O’Neil goes for a slam but Kingston reverses it with a front faceslam of his own. Kingston fights back with a series of chops and a dropkick. Kingston hits the ropes and hits a flying forearm followed by the Boom Drop. Young gets on the apron to distract Kingston, but R-Truth decks him. A.W. then tries to distract him by throwing his shoe (?!?) but Kingston throws A.W.’s shoe right back at him. O’Neil uses this brief distraction to hit him with a sort of spinebuster for the 1…2…3!

Winner: Titus O’Neil via Pinfall (2:51)

  • A.W. was much more bearable on the mic this week (did he make a Kobe rape joke?!?), although having him talk non-stop through the whole match is still irritating. The whole “shoe throwing” moment was pretty funny though. Decent match given its short time and it’s making me want to see the two teams go at it in a rematch. Perhaps at a certain PPV next month… (C+)

Backstage, CM Punk is explaining his actions from last week to John Cena. Punk says he has no issues with Cena but he’s going to be brutally honest with him: he doesn’t care who wins and wishes neither he or Show luck tonight. Punk then takes a verbal shot at Cena by saying he did to The Rock last week what Cena couldn’t do in a year, then walks off.

  • AWWWWWWWWWWWWWW SNAP! I f*cking love Punk.

Commercial Break

Back at the announce table, Cole apologizes for A.W.’s Kobe joke (which was awesome. Awesome enough to probably get him yelled at in the back) followed by a recap of what just happened between Punk and Cena.

Heath Slater is in the ring, and we see the recap of his loss to all of the legends last week on Raw 1000. Slater says that now that the legends are gone, he can get his career back on track. He challenges any current WWE superstar to come out and “lose” to him.

And out comes the returning Randy Ortonsans beard. He plays to the crowd, who are cheering their heads off.

Match #4: Randy Orton Vs. Heath Slater

Slater gets the early offensive advantage and starts laying into Orton in the corner. The crowd chants Orton’s name. Orton lands a series of clothesline from the corner. Slater hits the ropes for a move, but Orton hits him with a powerslam. Orton drapes him over the second rope and hits a DDT. He plays to the crowd then sets up for the RKO and connects with it for the 1…2…3!

Winner: Randy Orton via Pinfall (1:16)

  • The crowd was so into Orton’s return that I even got into it. A good way to bring him back and considering he’s the last “Legend Killer”, it makes his win a bit poetic in some weird way. Slater continues to be entertaining despite losing on a weekly basis. (N/A)

Backstage, Daniel Bryan is being psychologically evaluated. They are “Yes” or “No” questions so you know where this ends up. Bryan snaps from all the “Yes”‘s and starts repeatedly yelling it in the doctor’s face.

  • I laughed the second the doctor said he was going to ask a series of “Yes” or “No” questions. Yes it was a cheap way to get a laugh, but hey it worked on me. I’m an easy mark.

Hype for the Christian/Jericho Vs. Miz/Ziggler tag match, which is next!

Commercial Break

More hype for the Trips/Lesnar match at Summerslam. I wonder who will be main eventing…

Match #5: Chris Jericho/Christian Vs. Dolph Ziggler [w/ Vickie Guerrero]/*WWE IC Champion* The Miz 

Christian and Ziggler start off. Ziggler takes Christian down with a waistlock and starts gloating. Christian slaps him and drops him but Ziggler retakes advantage and tags in The Miz. Miz runs in but Christian jumps him and starts attacking. Miz escapes and tags Ziggler back in. Christian tags Jericho in so Ziggler tags in Miz. Jericho hip tosses Miz and lands a clothesline for a 2-count. Jericho bodyslams Miz and follows it up with an elbow for another 2-count. Jericho chops Miz into the corner and whips him to the opposite side. Miz gets his feet up when Jericho goes for a splash to get the advantage for his team.

Ziggler tags in to beat Jericho down. Jericho knocks him down with a shoulder block. Ziggler tries to send him to the outside, but Jericho lands on the apron and hits an axehandle from the top rope. He sends both Ziggler and Miz to the outside of the ring. Christian then splashes both from the top rope and heads back into the ring to celebrate with his partner as we go to commercial.

Back from the break, Jericho is trying to break free from a chinlock by The Miz. Miz attempts a knee, but Jericho rolls him up for two. Miz hits him with a clothesline and gets a 2-count. Miz goes back to the reverse chinlock to wear Jericho down. Jericho suplexes Miz to escape the hold. Jericho makes the hot tag to Christian, who starts laying into Ziggler (who also got the tag). Christian hits a high elbow from the second rope and goes for the Killswitch but Ziggler sends him into the turnbuckle. Christian hits a sunset flip from the second rope for a close 2-count. Christian knocks Miz off the apron but runs right into a beautiful dropkick by Ziggler for a 2-count.

Miz tags in and hits a kick to Christian for a 2-count. Miz strangles Christian on the bottom rope, then distracts the ref so Ziggler can get a cheap shot in. Miz goes for the pin and gets another close 2-count. Miz applies another reverse chinlock, this time to Christian. Christian punches his way out but Miz gets a knee to his gut. Miz rushes in but Christian throws him to the outside. Christian crawls over to tag Jericho but Miz pulls him off of the apron before heading back into the ring. Jericho accidentally distracts the ref as the two heels beat on Christian. Miz goes for a pinfall but only gets a 2-count.

Ziggler tags in and hits an elbow. He goes for a pin and gets another 2-count and puts Christian in another chinlock. He balances on his forearms to increase leverage and to show off (it worked because that was kick ass). Ziggler stops an attempted comeback and hits a Rude Awakening neckbreaker. Ziggler sizes Christian up for a move but misses completely and they try to cover it up quickly. Ziggler goes for the move he botched again and this time Christian catches him and slams him to the mat.

Jericho gets the hot tag and attacks Miz and dropkicks Ziggler off of the apron. Jericho hits the Lionsault on Miz and goes for the pin but Ziggler breaks the count up. Christian hits Ziggler with a spear, and Miz throws him shoulder-first into the post. Jericho attempts the Walls of Jericho on Miz, who escapes and knocks Jericho over. Miz goes for the Skull Crushing Finale but gets sent into the corner. Christian pokes Miz in the eye, which distracts him long enough to get hit with the Codebreaker for the 1…2…3!

Winners: Chris Jericho/Christian via Pinfall (13:22)

  • Good match that built both feuds rather well. I also really dug the ending as well; never underestimate the good ol’ thumb to the eye. Dolph Ziggler continues to impress, which I’m sure I’ve said a lot over the past few weeks but hey it’s true (you know if you forget about that botch which I am currently doing because denial is a powerful drug). I can’t wait to see him and Jericho tear it up. (B)

After the match, Ziggler hits Jericho in the back of the head with the Money in the Bank briefcase and smiles at the cheap shot he just committed. Ziggler leaves the ring and walks up the ramp staring at the fallen Jericho in the ring as Vickie Guerrero is all smiles.

Another video of the pre-show fire that occurred earlier today. At least they’re owning the mess-ups.

Backstage, Daniel Bryan is being subjected to the Rorschach Test. He gives three normal responses but then notices that one looks like a “Goat Face” (oh god that’s going to stick isn’t it?). He asks the doctor if Charlie Sheen put him up to this. Bryan says he’s the one who’s winning.

  • And here I was hoping they already lost interest in a Bryan/Sheen confrontation at Summerslam. Maybe it’ll just be a joke that doesn’t require the actor to show up again? Pretty please? Also let’s band together and make sure the “goat face” nickname doesn’t stick. I’ll start the Kickstarter after the show.

Commercial Break

The WWE Universe TOUT about the mental stability (or lack thereof) of Daniel Bryan and A.J. Lee.

Tensai is already in the ring awaiting his opponent: Tyson Kidd. They show Kidd’s upset win over Tensai last month.

Match #6: Tyson Kidd Vs. Tensai [w/ Sakamoto]

Kidd uses his speed to land some early blows but Tensai uses his power to gain the advantage. He splashes Kidd in the corner and slingshots Kidd throat-first into the bottom rope. An “Albert” chant breaks out among the crowd. Tensai puts Kidd in a nerve-hold.

Kidd ducks a clothesline and goes for a quick roll-up for a 2-count. Kidd hits a move from the top rope and goes for another pin but it’s another 2. Tensai catches Kidd and hits the Baldo Bomb followed by a back splash for the 1…2…3!

Winner: Tensai via Pinfall (2:12)

Tensai continues the attack on Kidd after the match. Tensai hits an over the shoulder backbreaker to end his onslaught. The referee, fed up, reverses the decision.

Winner: Tensai Tyson Kidd by Reverse Decision (2:12)

  • I have absolutely no interest in this storyline, even though I like both wrestlers involved (yes even Tensai, although that gimmick is beyond ridiculous in 21st century wrestling). I wouldn’t be mad to see their third encounter as a filler match at Summerslam though if only to give Kidd some more PPV time. As for Tensai…I think it’s time to drop the gimmick. It’s beyond a failure at this point. (C-)

Tensai takes his aggression out on his manager Sakamoto.

Backstage, the doctor says Daniel Bryan is 100% sane and leaves the room. All of a sudden the room goes red and Kane attacks him. He’s Bryan’s “Anger Management therapist”, or something.

  • F*ck it, why not? Kane’s awesome.

Commercial Break

A replay of the Triple H/Brock Lesnar video package from earlier. I don’t know if you know this but they are going to face each other at Summerslam.

CM Punk makes his way back out to do commentary for the upcoming main event, which is next!

  • Here’s a random thought: we haven’t heard from Show since the opening segment and Cena only showed up for a minute to get made fun of by Punk. Isn’t that weird? I’m so used to interviews and stuff that it feels crazy that there haven’t been any for this match.

Commercial Break

Main Event : John Cena Vs. The Big Show [Winner Faces CM Punk for the WWE Title at Summerslam]

Cena ducks an early clothesline to go on the offensive, but Show’s power and size quickly give him the advantage. Show lands a headbutt and whips Cena into the opposite corner. He splashes him with his butt, Andre the Giantstyle. Show uppercuts (maybe?) Cena right in the gut and delivers another headbutt. Show puts Cena in the corner and loudly chops him across the chest. Cena rolls to the opposite corner, and Show sets him up, shushes the crowd, and loudly chops him once more. Show tries for another chop, but Cena ducks and jumps on his back to apply a sleeperhold.

  • Side-Note: CM Punk is killing it on commentary right now. Very funny and most importantly he’s speaking truths while also selling the match and his upcoming title defense next month. He’s making Lawler look like an amateur.

Show splashes Cena in the corner to break the hold and Cena tries to hit a cross-body. Show catches him, but Cena weasels behind him and once again applies a sleeperhold. Show falls to his knees and falls to his back. Cena goes for a cover but Show kicks out and throws Cena out to the floor. And now…COMMERCIAL.

We are greeted from commercial break by the sweaty face of The Big Show yelling at the crowd. Cena starts fighting back but his attempted shoulder block is like meeting a brick wall so he goes down like a stack of bricks. Show then steps on Cena, putting his full weight on his sternum. Show whips Cena into the corner and hits another Andre-splash. Show mouths off to Punk and says he’s “too small” to stop him. Show whips him into the corner again and says “this is easy” to the crowd so you know what’ll happen. Cena gets his feet up to stop Show’s attempted splash, climbs the top rope, and hits a bulldog. Both men are down.

They get back to their feet and Cena continues to mount a comeback until running right into a bear hug courtesy of the Largest Athlete in the World. Cena starts fading, but soon gets his bearings together and elbows Show in the face repeatedly to break the hold. Cena goes for a bodyslam but can’t lift him all the way and Show lands him for the 1…2…kick out. Lawler says “Cena almost did the impossible”, which is ridiculously ridiculous.

Show gives the signal for the Chokeslam. He grabs Cena by the throat but Cena counters with a DDT. Both men are down again. Punk says that move was impressive. Cena gets up and runs right into a sidewalk slam. Big Show struggles to get to his feet. He goes to the second rope but misses the Vader Bomb. Cena shoulder blocks Show to the mat then lands the back suplex which leads to, you guessed it, the Five Knuckle Shuffle. Cena runs over to hit the Attitude Adjustment but ends up in a Chokeslam. Show goes for the pin. 1…2…KICK OUT! Cena rolls to the outside.

Show follows him out to roll him back in. Show punches him in the gut and Cena falls back to the outside. Show goes to bodyslam Cena on the floor, but Show gets pushed into the post. Cena goes for a shoulder block, but Show moves away and Cena flies into Punk.

At the count of 9 and a half, Cena makes his way back to the ring which Show cannot believe. Show sets up for the WMD Punch, but Cena ducks it and lifts him up for the Attitude Adjustment. Punk takes out Cena’s legs and the referee rings the bell to the end the match.

Winner: No Contest (16:15)

  • The clusterf*ck ending could be seen coming from a mile away but before then the match was not really worth writing home about. Typical power stuff from both men and went on a little too long. However I’m not going to b*tch too much because I love the fact that WWE is finally back to having substantial main events…for now. However this was just 16 minute filler until the end. Average stuff. (C)

Big Show starts getting up, but Punk kicks him right in the head to knock him back. Punk grabs a mic and his belt, and heads back into the ring. Punk says “the winner of the contest is…nobody” and calls Show and Cena losers. Punk leaves the ring, belt over his shoulder, and heads towards the back. He walks right past A.J., who comes out and says Cena and Show are both winners. They will both face CM Punk for the WWE Title at Summerslam which I’m sure surprises absolutely no one. Punk walks back out and says she can’t do this to him and repeatedly asks her to show him respect as this week’s Raw comes to a close.

Overall Show Grade: B-

  • Favorite Match: Sheamus/Daniel Bryan
  • Least Favorite Match: Tyson Kidd/Tensai
  • Favorite Segment: Damien Sandow beating the sh*t out of Brodus Clay
  • Least Favorite Segment: The payoff to the Daniel Bryan mental evaluation (I’m a Kane-iac, but still that was a bit ho-hum)

Overall Show Thoughts:

The WWE surprised me this week with another better than average show. The 3 hours flew by rather quickly, and the matches/storylines flowed together well. Plus, the TOUTs were kept to a minimum and that’s always a good thing. The in-ring action was the highlight tonight; not only did we get two really good matches, but the rest of the matches were still watchable even when they verged on being boring. As for the storylines and segments, CM Punk continues to be the best thing the company has going and now that he’s in heel mode he’s getting even better. He was great in the opening segment as well as the final segment (commentary included). The Jericho/Ziggler story was built up rather well in the tag match and I’m frothing at the mouth to see the two lock up. The Triple H/Lesnar story however, the one that’s supposed to carry Summerslam, is suffering from the fact that Lesnar can’t be on TV every week. Without the face time, I’m starting to lose interest. And as for A.J. being the new GM…so far so good I guess but the craziness of her character seems to have been dialed down considerably which makes me a little sad. But the transition hasn’t been horrible so far so we’ll see how it goes as the weeks progress.

I never thought I’d say this, but…WWE is getting a lot better now that Raw is 3 hours. I’m starting to get hopeful again…so I guess that means I’m kicked out of the Internet Wrestling Community. Damn.

What did you think of Raw? Leave a comment below or…

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